A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been dating for five years, we live together and are planning on marrying. This past weekend I went out of town. We were talking about my trip and I asked him what he had done Friday night. He told me he stayed at home and a male friend of his came over. I later found out that he had not included the fact that he had also hung out with a female friend. And that they had hung out alone after his male friend had left. I know this girl and I do not like her, she has even broken up several relationships. He swears nothing happened and I want to believe him because he's never given me a reason to think otehrwise. I'm really hurt that he lied and that he wasn't honest with me. Is it ok to be upset over this or am I overreacting? What should I do?? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): Well anything involving a lie is suspicious, becuase that means that for some reason he didn't want you to find out about it.
But he may have just not told you because he knew you didn't like her, and he didn't want you to think something happened when it didn't. If he has never in the past five years given you a reason to think he did somethign with her, then i would take the lie as my latter alternative. (he didn't want you to be upset over nothing).
But of course a lie is a lie and it involved another female. If you didn't get mad at him at all, he may have assumed that he can get away with lyeing after all. It's good to lay down the law, even if so far into the relationship.
Just see to you it that there is still trust in your relationship but as far as him cheating.. well.. you know in your heart if that's something you should believe or not.
~SY
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