A
female
age
30-35,
*mandanash
writes: I found out my boyfriend lied to me. We had plans to go on a road trip together to visit a town that was having a fair. We almost broke up recently, so we're on rocky ground in our relationship. We are also currently on a break. Becasue of us being on rocky ground, he kept putting off the dates of telling me when he wanted to go. Eventually, he told me he's not going to go, he might just go to the town for business purposes. I found out that he's still planning on going to the fair, but instead he's meeting up with one of his best friends (who is a girl), and going with her and some of their friends. I know for a fact that he's not interested in her, so cheating isn't in the picture, but the fact is he lied! What do I do? I told him i knew he lied, and he said nothing. Should I forgive him, or should the relationship be over? It may be over after our break if he decides, but what should I think?
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a break, best friend, broke up Reply to this Question Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2010): If you forgive him now he'll see your a push over, stand your ground, he doesn't deserve to be forgiven.
A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (16 June 2010):
Why is it up to him if you're together after the break? Why are you not evaluating whether or not you want to be with him?
Maybe there are differing rules about "breaks", but my understanding was that relationship "breaks" mean you are NOT together, NOT a couple - you are broken up with a possibility of getting back together.
Also, did he ASK for forgiveness (you said that he had said nothing when you mentioned it to him)?
You're on a break. Get out there and live. If you want to go to the fair, go with friends and have fun. It might be over, but it won't have a chnace at success if while you are on a "break" you are still making plans for road trips and placing demands on him for "honesty".
I always recommend that when someone askes another for space, you give it to them and ENJOY your space. Maybe he'll see you having fun and not caring what he does with his time, and he'll wish he had not decided to bring the other girl over you....
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 June 2010):
He still went out with her, didn't he? He still lied? You don't know he doesn't like her for a fact. What you do know for a fact is that while on a break where he should have been thinking about what he wanted with you, he blew you off several times. Seems to me like it's better for you to end it.
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