A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My capricorn man cheated on me and got caught. When we met, I told him I was married, unhappily, and lived a seperate life from my husband. He understood and we have been together 8 months. We recently got a place together, but often times, I must leave and go home. He knows what I go through in detail. I dont hide anything from him and I thought we had great understanding and communication. In fact the very same day he cheated, he was dressing and asked my opinion on what to wear. He told me he loved me and kissed me. Later that evening when he got caught, he said things like "keep it real" "you dont live here, I am here alone everynight", You are married", "I can have who I want over here". He also allowed the girl to say those things, and comment on my marriage, and that I should go home and work things out with my husband". He did not leave after all this, he stayed there with me. In fact he is still there, and constantly appologizing for what happened. I am soo angry with him, but I want so much to believe that he made a mistake. I mean this was sooo out of character for him. Its like he was not the same guy that night. What should I do with him. I dont want to leave. I really love him and want to trust him. Everyone makes a mistake.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): you are twisting things here...Yes i get your situation, but what does hes got to do with that? There is nothing in there for him.... If he really loves you he'd be there for you, but in the condition of your man, not your lover. Cant you see how pathetic he must feel? If you dont stand by him, why should he stand by you? There are no victims here. There is always a way to solve things out, im not saying its easy, i know big life changes are exhausting, but you need to be strong enough to make the changes you need. What does your husband has to do with your parents anyway? Playing the victim role is not going to help anyone.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, let me elaborate on my home situation, since you all seem to think i am "cheating on my husband". The reason I go home is because I have a sick mother and ederly father that now live with me. My dad is 84 and my mom is 78. He has a heart condition and she is diabetic, has a lung disease, and is on oxygen and has a nurse. We have a 3 bedroom home, i sleep in 1 room, my husband 1 and my father the other. My mom sleeps in the den, with her hospital bed and 02. I sometimes dont see my husband for a week at a time. We share the house but not the relationship. Divorce is something we discuss, but until his immigration process is over, we decided not to go with it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk, let me elaborate on my home situation, since you all seem to think i am "cheating on my husband". The reason I go home is because I have a sick mother and ederly father that now live with me. My dad is 84 and my mom is 78. He has a heart condition and she is diabetic, has a lung disease, and is on oxygen and has a nurse. We have a 3 bedroom home, i sleep in 1 room, my husband 1 and my father the other. My mom sleeps in the den, with her hospital bed and 02. I sometimes dont see my husband for a week at a time. We share the house but not the relationship. Divorce is something we discuss, but until his immigration process is over, we decided not to go with it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): whats sauce for the goose is also sauce for the gander. you are cheating on your husband (whatever state your relationship is in, you are married so your cheating), your boyfriend cheated, two cheaters together spells disaster.
personally if i were you id go it alone for a while. leave
the loveless marriage, and the cheat boyfriend,sort yourself out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2009): What are you doing? Aren't you cheating on him as well? You're cheating on your husband and him.
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A
female
reader, Dazed~Confused  +, writes (12 November 2009):
 Ok, first can I say that situation is not healthy or fair to any of you?
How can you be staying with another man and then going home to your husband?
I don't think that this guy believes that you are going to leave your husband, and probably doesn't have much respect for you either.
However, you can't really get at him for cheating, cause that is essentially what you are doing.
Does your husband know of this situation? Why do you keep going back.
On the chance that this guy does have genuine feelings for you, he is probably wondering why it's ok for you to go back and forth, but that he is expected to keep it in his pants.
You need to make a final choice with regard to your marriage. If this guy is still around when that is done, then you need to decide whether the 2 of your trust each other.
Why did you move in with this guy? Was it for financial reasons? Are there any other motivations that he could possibly have for wanting to stay?
These are questions you need to ask. There are a lot of issues you need to address with respect to your relationships and sort them out if you have a hope of this happening.
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