A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I have been dating a guy for ten months. Over the weekend we got into a fight. Frankly, I don't know what he was mad about. We had been drinking quite a bit. He started screaming in my face and left me at the sports bar without a ride home (3AM). Of course the next day he is calling leaving messages about how sorry he is about the whole thing. I don't know if I can forgive him. It's one thing to get mad and yell, but to leave me stranded at 3AM is a little hard to forgive. We have never had problems like this before so its hard to just let him go as well. Please help should he be forgiven???? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (25 February 2008):
 Sometimes, anger can make you lose control of your senses. Some men can lose control of the situation. You should forgive him .He could not control himself . It is like the devil was unleashed .
Mostly when they have reached their tolerance limit , they would explode and dump you and would not care less.They become irrational due to the anger.
It is something beyond his control and it is not intentional or they would not regretted it and apologize to you.
They will need to learn to better handle the stress and sometimes, one should recognize when their partner becomes hyper.
Do not provoke or challenge him further when you see those signs.Everyone has their tolerance limits.Better to hold one's tongue.
Don't push him over the cliff.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2008): can you say NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
This guy has an explosive temper, want more of the same, stick around.......
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (25 February 2008):
No matter how bad the fight is, that doesnt make it ok for him to leave you alone at night in a club at 3am! God knows what could happen...so many bad possibilities. When you have a fight with someone it doesnt mean you can just stop caring for them or treat them like dirt. I understand he was drinking so perhaps this influenced him to make a bad decision, however, he cant use alcohol as an excuse. he made the choice to drink and if he CHOSE to drink so much that he isnt able to be sensible then it is still his fault.
I think if I was you, i would probably try to forgive him and make things work. However in order to forgive he has to realise what HE (not the alcohol) did wrong. So unless he can admit to being at fault then i dont think its possible to forgive. Also you would need to discuss how much alcohol he will drink the in the future to prevent something similar happening again.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (25 February 2008):
 Hi
The key here is 'alcohol'
People do crazy things when it comes to booze and its hard to make judgements on anything anyone says or does, when booze is involved.
BUT if he drinks a lot or YOU BOTH drink a lot, maybe you are argumentative when drinking.
Prehaps both lay off the bevvies for now to see if this is the case.
Alcohol isnt the b all and end all.
C xxxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008): I think as you are asking "should you forgive" this means you think you should - but you should also state the case for this not being acceptable behaviour - you dont just forgive you lay it down to him hard and clear this was not acceptable and punish him in some way - tell him he has to give you some time - I dont know how often you see him but make sure you skip a while to give yourself some time to yourself. This will make him respect you more and make him think more carefully how he behaves in future and also give yourself some time to make sure you do want to forgive him.
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