A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hello. please i need help. i dated this guy 4 about 6 months when he disided to go back to his x girl friend. well its was very painfull 4 me but i could understand him as i know how it is when u r in love. but the thing is that i m not yet over him after 5 months of breakup. he is back telling me he has realize that he loves me and wants me back. honestly i still love him too but i am scared to get hurt again. or should i give it another chance as i am soo much in love. the thing is that when we started dating he had just brokenup with her and still had some feeling for her so he was kind of comfused to what he should do as he says that he fell in love with me and still had some feelings for her 2. the worst thing is that her x 2 loved him 2 so it was so difficult for him. so i finally disided to give him time to figure out his feelings and here he is asking me to give him another chance as he is sure of his feelings now. he knows what he wants. i m desparate so helpless what should i do?
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (31 August 2007):
 Hi
Alarm bells would be ringing for me if i was you. He made a classic mistake after splitting with her by trying to replace her with you. Those relationships more often fail.
Everyone, and there's no exceptions either, everyone, needs some time alone after a split, to reflect on what went wrong, what they learn from it, to find themselves, and make sure they dont make the same mistakes again. Your guy hasnt ever actually spent any time doing this. He is obviously not keen on being on his own. Until he is able to do that, he hasnt found 'himself' and if he cant find himself he has very little chance of making it with a significant other in my opinion.
I dont think it matters why they split as long as he addressess those issues. It would of been BOTH their 'fault'.
But good luck if you give him another chance.
I would sooner move on and meet someone thats as ready as me for a proper relationship. The odds on it going the distance without that rollercoaster ride you will probably keep finding yourself on, are greatly increased.
But you have to do what you thinks best.
Good luck.
C xxxxx
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (31 August 2007):
 Hi,
Do you know why they have split up, because this could be one of the reasons he wants to be back with you. What I mean is "did she finish with him".
If she didnt and you love him that much, you may have to take the chance and try. But if she finished it, he could be just running to you because he knows you will have him. I would find out for sure (not from him) what happened before you give him another chance.
I am not saying that he doesnt love you, but guarding your heart will do no harm. Giving it to him again so easily, could let you in for a really hard time again.
Better to be safe than sorry
XX
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): take it slow dont go back in to a full on relationship start dating again go to the cinema go for dinner and keep out of each others bed for a while you could also sit him down again and tell him your feelings if it is true love he will wait for u xx
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