A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:please dont pass me by i really need your help?.i was on before to you and the help i got was great but now i have a follow up.i was here in oct about my husband leaveing our 21year marrige for a girl 20years younger than him she is the same age as our first born child she is 20 he is 40 and they moved in with each other.as you can imagin my heart and the hearts of my children were broken.but now just as me and the kids are getting a life for ourselfs and he comes to our house to see my youngest son once every to weeks.we are ok with that .but in the last too weeks hes been texting me asking how the kids are and telling me how well i look and has asked me would i like to go for a pint with him??? at the same time hes telling me how happy he is living with her and thay go for long walks and all that.leves me thinking what hes up to is he trying to win me back ? is he that happy? does he really love her as much as he says?is he trying to play me or is he just missing the family life? i do love him and i do miss him but i could never forgive him for the pain he caused but i cant help but wonder what his game is?i allways wish that one day i get my moment of joy that he asks to come home so i can tell him were he can go and jump.at the same time i wonder will he ever ask?what do you think hes up to? and why is he sending me credit for my phone ? and been so nice and kind to me ? also all this is going on behind her back
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female
reader, someday2010  +, writes (4 February 2007):
...listen, I dont want to break your heart more but you need some good sound advice. Ok, so people have mid life issues that they go through, and it sounds like that is what occured with him. But, just because he has issues does not mean you have to suffer for it. As much as you love him you need to move on. Stop the text messages. They are only words but texting is personal. Try switching to e-mail it is not as personal and it will keep him at a distance. Dont let him get under your skin again after all the great progress you have already made. Please be strong and move on. Yes it hurts, but you can still have a life with out him. Dont put yourself on hold for a selfish person he is just feeling guilty. Dont let his guilt trick you into falling for him again. I wish you luck. Let him know you are better off with out him!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2007): ...listen, I dont want to break your heart more but you need some good sound advice. Ok, so people have mid life issues that they go through, and it sounds like that is what occured with him. But, just because he has issues does not mean you have to suffer for it. As much as you love him you need to move on. Stop the text messages. They are only words but texting is personal. Try switching to e-mail it is not as personal and it will keep him at a distance. Dont let him get under your skin again after all the great progress you have already made. Please be strong and move on. Yes it hurts, but you can still have a life with out him. Dont put yourself on hold for a selfish person he is just feeling guilty. Dont let his guilt trick you into falling for him again. I wish you luck. Let him know you are better off with out him!
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (3 February 2007):
 It sounds like he is regretting what he did to you all and obviously it's your decision whether to take him back or not. Things I would take into account is that first he cheated on you, now he's going behind his new girl's back. What if the excitement has worn off with new girl and he's just having a case of the grass is always greener? I'm torn with giving you advice on this. I genuinely believe that when kids are involved the parents should do everything they can to make their marriage work but in this case I wonder if taking him back and possibly being hurt again further down the line doesn't override this. Ultimately it's up to you. Do what's best for you and your kids. You can't do anything more.
CD
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