A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I feel like my life is ending. I've loved one of my friends for a very long time. We finally got together but he ended it as he found someone else he liked and also he said he thought it'd gone too far and anymore we could reck our friendship. To be honest, we;ve never had a close friendship at all. However it seems rather than making it work he would rather keep me as a friend. Yes it;d be awkward if it didn;t work but I'm sure its nothing we could work out and still get alongI won;t go into the situation of how we used to be etc but everyone who knows us and had heared about the situation has come to the conclusion that the only thing possible is that he was scared of ruining the friendship and finds it easier to keep me as a friend. Obviously only he knows whats true.But if this is the case how can I show him we wouldn;t reck anything. I understand the whole, its easier if your not friends first as hes already said that and he wasn't friends with the girl he is with now, even though they seem happy. Im heartbroken and if I know theres a chance its due to this I don't know how I'll live with seeing him happy with someone else. Surely if theres feelings there it should make him want to go for it. Yes its a risk, he knows how I feel but surely a part of him that would still want to go for it. How can I make him confident in that? We are still friends and I'd never ever force anything upon him or anyone, I just want him to see that really we could work and theres nothing to be scared of, if that is the case. obviously if not its a different situation and sadly will be the end. What can I do?
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female
reader, Candid Cally  +, writes (14 August 2012):
If you became close in a 'friends with benefits' sort of way without even really being close friends, then, had him stop pursuing the 'benefits' with you aroun the same time he entered a true boyfriend/girlfriend type relationship with someone else it doesn't mean that he 'didn't want to wreck the friendship.' it means that he wasn't interested in a romantic relationship with you and he was trying to let you down without hurting you too badly.
I am sorry you have had to go through this.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (13 August 2012):
I don't think there is anything you can do, because I think this is his way of letting you down as gently as he can.
I think it's most likely that he sees you only as a friend, and nothing more. You're right, if he was truly interested, he'g go for it.
Sadly, he doesn't seem interested enough. So I think the best thing to do is let him go.
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