A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last year i got involved with a married man at work, yes stupid i know, anyway it went on for a few months before he decided that he'd made a commitment to his wife and he should give it another go, so we broke up. However now he has left his wife after realising that he made the biggest mistake of his life with the decision he'd made, and is begging me to give him another chance. I still love him, but am scared of being hurt again, also worried about the age difference he is 40 i'm 25, this doesn't bother me but know it will bother my family. He has said he will wait as long it takes for me to make a decision about what i want to do.....but i just don't know, i do love him, but know there will be lots of repercussions if we do get together.....but can also see it being great. Very confused!!!
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female
reader, Pixinator +, writes (1 June 2008):
Thankyou all for your thoughts. I'm still confused, but hopefully working through all the mess....
As for the thought of him going back on forth, that definitely won't happen, he won't go back now that he finally had the courage to leave - the relief he's felt has been amazing, plus his ex will be going back to France so won't be around.... And i trust him (no matter how stupid that sounds!) he's never been anything but up front with me - no hollow promises etc... There were reasons he cheated on his wife that are in no way relevant to the two of us as a couple.
I guess the main thing i keep coming back to is that i don't want to be thinking "what if?" in months or years in the future......we've never really had a chance, should i throw this away before its had any possibility....
but then there's still other questions that concern - which are more to do with whatever people will think..... such as i'll be seen as the bitch who broke up their marriage, regardless of what problems that had prior to that happening! and what will happen at work etc....
Too many questions and no answers, the only way to find them out is to go down that path if i have the courage to do so....but then again do i have the courage to not go down that path?! Still so confused!!! But thanks for your thoughts :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): The fact you are unsure is a clue - listen to yourself. What is at the root of it? Distrust (he let you go for his wife, now he's back - kind of like you are second best?) I think you are wise to be cautious. I would take things very very very slowly - maybe date him but nothing serious and really analyse things for your own peace of mind. Stay more in control. It sounds like he calls the shots. I would urge you to be honest with yourself. Has the gloss gone out of it because you have had time to think? Don't just accept the relationship because you have nothing better on offer - there are other guys without the baggage and you are young.
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A
female
reader, Mia Rio  +, writes (30 May 2008):
Life is there to take a chance. Age isnt a problem you cant always please your family by making yourself unhappy. To be totally honest i think he made the right decision in the first place to go bak to his wife as it shows he clearly felt guilt for being unfaithful but learnt his true feelings in the end. The fact he has left her and taking a chance on you shows he is serious about you. If you love him i'd take a shot, but only you can work out if you want to? in years to come do u think you would regret not taking a chance on something that could be great? the worst that can happen is that you feel hurt and you learn a lesson.hope this helps a wee bit. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (30 May 2008):
 Hi there,
I dont think this man will change, if he cheated on his wife, there is a high possibility that he will cheat on you also.
Please try to be strong and walk away from this one. Listen to Waterloo Sunset..what she says is correct.
You are setting yourself up for alot of heartache if you go back with this guy. i understand it is hard for you because you care for him so much, but to be honest, i would prefer to go through the pain now than endure a lot more pain and misery down the road if you go back with this man.
Try to be strong, i know its not easy.
Take care and start fresh and find someone is totally available and will treat you well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): Oh please dont go down this messy road, i speak from experience. My best friend got involved with a married bloke, he kept going backwards and forwards and it nearly killed her. He got divorced and they got married, then he went backwards and forwards to his ex wife. He even to this day spends christmas day with his ex wife. It is a long and miserable route, so get off it now and find someone who is single without any baggage shite.
take care
xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008): He cheated on his wife, what makes you think he won't cheat on you?
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