A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'll try to keep this short.My husband and I had been married only 3 years when I caught him having an affair. Long story, but the short version is that he told me he had to visit a sick relative over Xmas. What really happened is that he was 1800 miles from where he said he would be, with a woman he had met online. It turns out he was there to try to get her pregnant. They had the whole thing planned out for months! I filed for a divorce, and it was granted. Several months later, we ended up reconciling, although I would never, ever marry this man again. Not after what he did.Forgive and forget right? Easier said than done when he is constantly comparing me to her. He is no longer in contact with her, but he is constantly watching for women that look like her. He stares at them in public, to the point where its embarrassing. I ask him not to, but he denies doing it in the first place. He then berates me for NOT looking like her. He makes fun of me for being too tall, as if I had control over that. This woman was 100% my opposite:1. I am 5'9, she is 5'02. I am thin, she is roundish3. I have dark brown hair, hers is purple4. I am educated, she dropped out in 10th grade5. I am quiet and reserved, she is loud and obnoxious6. She drinks heavily, and does cocaine... I do nietherThere are many other differences, but those are the main ones. If that is what he wanted, why did he come back?! He goes on and on about how now that he's experienced sex with a short woman, nothing else will compare. He was able to look past her jailhouse tattoos, knarly teeth, acne, and everything else, but with me, I get picked on for everything. I'm not knocking him for his new preferences....whatever. To each their own. I'm upset that he came back to me, claimed he loved me and had made a mistake, yet he goes out of his way to drill it into my head that he "deserves" my opposite.I just want this to be over, it hurts too much. He tells me that the one thing that is holding me back from getting anyone else is that I am too tall, and if a man says otherwise, he is lying. According to him, ALL men secretly desire women that are under 5'2. Anyone taller is unacceptable. Don't get me wrong, I am far from ugly, and I do not look like a man. I have waist length hair, small feet (size 7), and I am busty (32GG, if it matters). What do you all think? Do most men only want short women?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 September 2012):
 Why in the world did you take him back?
Why do you want to be with him?
What do you get out of this relationship?
What keeps you from kicking this idiot to the curb?
I know lots of men that want taller women… they think of me as FUN SIZED…
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (10 September 2012):
 If you want this to just be over with then, then the power is yours to make it so. What is stopping you from leaving him?
As for height preferences, I have often read that many men prefer tall women. Some do prefer short, others prefer women of average height. Men do not all share one brain (I'm going to resist the urge to add further comment). Their tastes vary with each individual. Remember your ex chose you over other women once before just as he done now. Not that his tastes matter, but if it gives you some peace of mind...
Whatever grief you think you will suffer by leaving him will pass. You just have to give yourself time to get through the withdrawal.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 September 2012):
I just don't know why you're with this vile man. I really don't.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 September 2012):
 Why the HECK are you even with the man? Obviously he doesn't want you, he is just hanging on to you til he finds the "next best thing".
And from what you write you are an attractive lady yet you make this DOUCHE of an EX HUSBAND berate you and tear you down?
I have to ask WHAT are you getting out of this relationship?
I'm 5'7 which is pretty average I would guess and my husband is 6'2 we are physically well matched, I SERIOUSLY doubt that ALL men want short women. I think MEN with a Napoleonic complex might want a shorter female, so he can look taller. I know a few guy who are married to women who are taller then them, so NOT all men WANT short women.
The thing is we like what we like. HE doesn't like ANY thing about you, does that mean you are all wrong? NO!! You are just wrong for him (or rather... HE is WAY wrong for you)
Dump the idiot and find a REAL man who can appreciate what he has.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): DIVORCE HIM NOW! LIKE RIGHT NOW! No man has the right 2 demean u r straight out disrespect u. Clearly he is playing a game w/u. U deserve so much better! I don't know where he is getting his facts from, but all men don't like just short women. If he wants 2 b w/that woman let him. Go and find someone else that will want u tall and all. Don't continue 2 b w/someone and be miserable. Y put urself through that. Go back and get those divorce papers effective immediately! Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): What a scumbag, I don't even know where to begin with whats wrong with him.However, off all the scummy things this idiot has done, is made you doubt yourself. Of course not all men want women who are 5'2! Women come in all shapes and sizes, and most are attractive in their own way. Please drop this loser and find a man who doesn't spout so much rubbish. I'm not knocking for his tastes, but he shouldn't assume that all men want what he wants.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): 'i just want this to be over'.
give him an ultimatum.
doesn't work?
well then take a good think about the answer to this question
why isn't it over??
you'd find someone much better for you who treats you RIGHT and think you're perfect the way you are. maybe he hasn't got over his youthful rebel-thingy stage.
just leave him be. there are better out there :)
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