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female
,
anonymous
writes: My husband and I have been together 9 years. We married 3 months ago and 3 weeks ago my husband told me that 6 days before we married he and my closest friend (one of my bridesmaids) kissed, but he swears they did nothing more and that he didn't want anything more. I acknowledge my part in problems prior to the wedding in that I neglected him and became completely absorbed in the wedding plans. He in turn has said that it was simply the attention she showed him that he liked. He has apologised, has assured me that there was never any doubt of his love for me or that he never doubted marrying me for a moment. He is trying to make it up to me and we made the joint decision to end the friendship with the woman. But 9 years of trust is a lot to replace and I don't know how to cope...
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2006): I believe that he made a mistake, came out with it, and apologized, and is making amends is a very good positive thing. You should try to forgive him for this one misdeed, and move on to try to build toward a greater future with him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2006): i dont believe in second changes, this guy cheated, he lost your trust because he had a sexual interaction with another person, no offence but i dont know why your evem consider staying with him, id walk out that door and keep going without looking back, just because he said sorry and he will never doubt his love for you does not mean he wont do it again. you should not have to be stressing about this, its his actions and he should pay for it, this guy had no right to do that even if you had neglected him for short period, i assume he probably did'nt tell you about the fact he was feeling neglected, instead he just goes and kissies another women.these awful feelings your having are not going to go away, if you keep on with this marriage its just going to stick in the back of your head until the end, telling him that you trust him is a bad idea because its a lie, this is not one of those things that you can just say "yea ok i for give you" and then just pretend it never happen. if you do stay id suggest some marriage counciling to help you cope with the hurt.
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A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (1 February 2006):
 It seems like he is very apologetic about the whole situation and if you guys decided to end your friendship with this woman, then it seems that you shouldn't have anything to worry about. If it's not a problem with him, then I don't think anything else happened and at least he told you and was honest about it and didn't try to hide anything. That's a good thing. If he's trying to make it up to you, let him... you deserve it. He did something bad and he has to make up for his actions and if he's sincere, then I say you should still trust him. He seems like a good man. If this hasn't happened before or happens again, you know that it was a mistake and that it won't happen again.
You guys are married now and it's a new start for both of you. Think of it that way. It's the start of your new lives together. Congratuations by the way!
GOOD LUCK!
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