A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 and my co worker is a year older, we've only been working together for a couple of months as we're both at uni. He's in a long term relationship and seems very content and happy with his girlfriend when he talks about her etc. We always have a laugh and a casual flirt when were working together just because we share the same sense of humour, but there was never anything sleezy or more than that.Then last night it was our last shift together and we were walking around the back to leave when he made a joke about touching my boobs again just messing about. Then he closes the gate, gets really close to me looking me in the eye and says he wants to say bye properly (i'm very confused/shocked at this point) so i kiss him on the cheek, then we kiss properly and he gets a bit busy with his hands. Then after we leave and he acts totally normal again like see ya soon and that.And i'll have to see him next week!So confused, please help! xo
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male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 OK, what's to understand? He saw it, he liked it, he went for it. Apparently he's not the type to let a little thing like a serious girlfriend get in the way of his getting a little action on the side. And you're there, and oh so tempting.
Is that a game you want to play? From what you said it seems unlikely that he is serious enough about you to want to give up what he's got and get serious about you, and personally I doubt you'd be making a good investment if you bet your emotions on a guy who you know wanders off when he has a chance anyway.
My advice is to draw the line with this guy. Keep it friendly in the office, and it won't hurt to keep up the banter with him. But by all means avoid situations where the two of you are alone, and if he makes another move, or says anything inappropriate again, explain to him that you're not interested in him "that way" because he's involved with someone else and he's just a work friend to you. And keep it that way, no matter what he promises. Don't let him tell you that he'll dump his girlfriend for you if only you'll ... In the first place, that a line of bull, and in the second place, as I said I doubt that's something you'd really want anyway even if he meant it. If you're attractive enough to get him interested chances are you'd have no problem finding a decent guy who'd be more than interested in you. And a much better deal in the end.
Forget him. OK as a casual friend at work, but a lousy deal as anything more.
A
female
reader, Happivibes +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Hi I think he is a chancer, opportunist if you like. He over stepped the mark. be normal when you see him again, do not refer to the incident, but talk a lot about how busy you have been, ask after his girlfriend and avoid being alone with him.
He is treating you as lesser being than his girlfriend, someone who he can flirt, kiss, fondle and god knows what else given the chance but he is in a committed relationship. The guy is a an idiot. remember if he behaves like this with you behind her back, he probably does with others.
You are worth more than that and should make that clear.
Best of luck and happy vibes to light your way. x
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