A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend is older than me so his crowd is usually men and women (husbands and wives about his age) last weekend he had a gathering and just went on and on joking with one of his friend's wife, about how they should run away together and she should leave her husband (and i am standing right next to him) which made me very upset, she was wearing some red high heel shoes and he went as far as telling her how great she would look with pasties (glittery ones) and it just made me feel very disrespected... do you think I am making a big deal out of this or am I right to be upset.Please helpLizzie
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): you are not over reacting and rightly hurt. seems he has some fantasy about him and her(???)i don't normally suggest playing games but maybe you can also "come on" to a male. i am sure you bf will not be impressed, in fact he will be stark raving mad that you dared do to. then perhaps ask him how it feels to be degraded and even humiliated. currently he will just say that you are overly sensitive but maybe "retaliating" will show him how sensitve the situation can become. lizzie, bottom line, this man was supposed to love and "protect" you from any hurt. and last weekend he actually contributed to your pain and hurt. you need to tell him how you feel. there are appropriate behaviour to keep in mind when with friends and i think he overstepped the line. you are with him not his friends wife. (being a mere man (apologies to the men), i think he is going to laugh off your words. so please keep this in mind when you talk to him)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): Lizzie: I don't think you are overreacting at all. I was totally inappropriate and disrespectful to behave that way. My late husband used to do the same things, infact I had 2 husbands that behaved like inconsiderate assholes the same way your boyfriend did! I hope you have spoken to him about it! Although with some guys they just don't get it! I have been accused of ruining the day by letting him know how he disrespected me.
In any case you have the right to let your feelings be known! I know how it made you feel and how you felt invisible (or wanted to be)
Don't take shit from anyone!
Britt
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A
female
reader, jayne_staaa  +, writes (18 May 2009):
simply tell your boyfriend that you dont really feel comfortable with him saying that to another woman right infront of you, i personally think that your not overreacting at all why shud u suffer, i think in a way he disrespected you but not intentionally just be open and honest tell him your concerns.
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A
female
reader, Lilly Rose +, writes (18 May 2009):
 WHAT...thats terrible what he did, i would of gone crazy! Where is his respect for you? you need to pull him up over that and tell him how crap he made you feel, no man who loves you would EVER do that! If he doesnt seem sorry about it and he does it again, i would LEAVE him...you only have one life you deserve the best and to feel like the most beautiful women in the room when your with the one you love!
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