A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:im a 18 yrs old girl..i have problems with my bf.okay....here's the story....my bf was being trapped by his own cousin, his cousin smashed his car windows and until now i don't even know what is the exact reason. This happens in a sudden and he don't know how so he went to the police station and made a report. After that, the guy who smashed his window called him and begged him not to hand up the case, and said that he would pay for the car windows. so, because they were cousins so they don't want to make the problem bigger, so they don't handle the case to the police, but who knows, his cousin refused to pay for the car after they had canceled the cases. That night, my bf and his family had a hard time. His family scolded him for causing so much troubles and said that he is the most useless among the family. His family also told him not to bring me to his house anymore because my parents still don't know i have a bf. His family worry that if one day my parents find out and cause more troubles again. My bf was so depressed and sad. He didn't answer or reply my messages. Until midnight, he called me and told me that he don't want anymore relationship. I was shocked and cried..I said i don't want to end up the relationship but he just keep quiet and said he want to sleep. I cannot say anything so both of us went to sleep. The next morning, i find him and yes he did reply me and still called me. After a few days, he is not that miserable anymore, so i asked him to go out with me. I went to his house to pick him since his car was not fix yet.We were so happy when we meet. As usual, we still talk and hug, kiss...Then we wait till his mother back, his mother had a conversation with me, he told me that his son is not a perfect guy for me, and told me that his son is in a dangerous condition now, because his own cousin also trapped him. His mom told me that he don't allow my bf to drive out anymore, she wants him to study or at least work. She said until she cried, me as well...Then my bf gets mad with his mother and they quarreled. My bf and i didn't make to swim and he chased me home.He said that he don't want to see me again. He said that he is useless and cannot bring me anything. He keep on telling me that he had nothing, what for getting in a relationship. I was so sad because when things happened he just left me. That night, he switched off his phone and i cannot contact him for about 5 days. On the 6th day, it was his birthday, i left the present at his door steps and finally that night, he replied my messages..but everything is different already. He din cal me darling anymore, and told me that we are just friends. He said he wanna concentrate on his study and career in the month of August and say we will see until then but the final verdict is, put an end on this for a moment.Until today, we still keep in touch by sms and we play online games together. But when i ask him to go out, he told me that we are just friends but when he plays online game, he told his friends we are still couples...i am very blur and don't know what to do. I really love him. He is a smart guy actually is just that their parents gave him too much stress and he don't want to face the problem. He keep on escaping me but i know that he still love me. what else i can do to hold on him? can anyone help me please?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhis parents discourage me to go his house because they don want my parents to find out and cause more troubles. But they want his son to be with me and want me to wait for him.= = they want us to be together when my bf has stable career and study, bcos his parents feel tat his son has nothing for me so what for getting in a relationship....yea, i was confused too...so if bcos the reason u break is they don want to cause trouble, dont u feel sad..? what to do with me.......omg~ i really had a hard time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHis parents still find me. They told me that his son is so unpredictable and since they quarrel, he never talk to his parents until today.They ask me not to gv up because they know that his son had made the decision when he is angry and is very unlogic and unfair to me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi Kayla, thanks for Ur advice. I ever told him that i still love him. But he will said that i am too childish and never think of the future and consequences. I told him that i love him not because of money or wad, i just want to be with the one i'm deeply in love with, then he asked me to wait till things calm down. But now we are only just friends,I'm afraid to lose him. One more thing is that even tho he said that i am his fren, when something happens, he still find me, when he finally can drive he told me, he still share his happiness with me but why did he deny our relationship? I don know whether he still love me or what.. If he said that he don have time for relationship then can anyone assure that he won't have another new gf in future? He will still have right, then if he really love me, why would he let go me?I really don know what he is thinking about. We din break because of quarreling, we break because of his cousin causing this much problems and link to me.....If that didn't happen then nothing would happen to both of us, is hard for me to accept.I want him to come back to me. but what should i do? i cannot go to his house or meet him because we are not couples anymore, but i know he still love me.I want him to come back.......Im so sad if he really leave because of that.
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female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (31 July 2009):
 maybe tell him that you love him and cant be friends with him because it hurts too much.his listening to his family to try not to cause problems for himself but i generally think that he loves you too but is a little confused but until he gets over the fact that his parents will be annoyed at him and that's something he'll have to deal with he probably wont be with you maybe you should start thinking about moving on but if you tell him you cant be friends he might change his mind about being in a relationship with you but then maybe not it'll be a chance you have to take.if you are meant to be with him you will be in time but if not then his not the right person for u
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