A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:an interesting question aimed to the menfolk out there:My best friend's bf was watching porn almost quite frequently. she was finding out his habits by checking the history on the pc and thus confronted him numerous times over the last couple yrs. his many excuses were, hes obviously a very highly sexual being and even though they have amazing sex numerous times daily, he watches porn because its something hes been doing, for yrs. its a personal thing for him, not about lust or wishing it were him fucking with these chicks. but he loves anal porn and gangbang material dbl penetration, etc which although his gf loves anal with him etc and allows him to perform this upon her, he just loves to watch this on video. the usual excuses... as it happened, it destroyed her sexual libido and attraction to him. she stopped having sex with him, well, just did not have it as frquently and she even cut him off on anal sex. as she felt dirty and disgusting as he was her first for anal sex.they had many mnany talks and arguments about his porn viewing, she said she felt it was almost as if he was cheating, but not really. its a grey area she said, and open to interpretation. he agreed with her. then this year, she got so fed up she told him, he had an addiction and she felt traumatized by his porn, for example: they have sex, amazing sex, they cuddle and fall asleep and she wakes up to see him jerking off to porn. as it so happens, she has caught him hundreds of times unbeknownst to him whether during the night, or before work, or even when she returns from the grocery store, sometimes shed walk in on him and hed be startled or she would be pretending to sleep but watching him jerk off to his porn. this caused her so much grief she told him that it has affected her sex drive. as it happens, a few days later he approaches her and says he had an epiphany. she had said something that caused him concern. was he a porn addict??he told her it made him look deep into himself, and made him realize perhaps she was right. and he said he loves her so dearly he wants never to cause her grief. and would gladly give up jerking off to porn if it made her happy. as it happened, there arguments ceased, her sex drive went back up because she felt less threatened by it. and she was not depressed any more. recently she found on the history hes been checking out the youporn site again. while a lot of it was just search inquiries, there were quite a few that showed he actually was watching the porn and not just doing searches on the site. and she kept quiet, noticing every day new things on the history. she confronted him as calmly as possible, but still very upset.he said to her he swears on his mothers soul etc he was only looking uup stuff, mostly things he hears at work from other guys, like a girl having sex with a carebear. or unusual shaped vaginal lips etc and he was just looking. but he was not and has not jerked off to any porn material. he claims hes getting better every day. he said, he is only worried about one thing. and thats that porn always gave him a very high sex drive and in the past when he was going thru a dry spell, or went without porn his sex drive dropped. so, heres the question i pose for u. whydoes he feel that his sex drive decreases when he does not watch [porn? she has told him its probably due to the fact hes been watching porn from so young and has become dependent upon it to stimulate his sex drive.that he needs to learn of other ways to be sexually active with her withpout viewing porn. by the way shes very hot and the two are very much in love with eachother... he has agreed with her wholeheartedly, but yet..... does it it make any sense to u guys that he needs porn to be horny?to keep his sex drive stable etc? is it an excuse? is it an addiction? is his gf right in what she has observed and what can he do to keep his sex drive without resorting to porn? keep in mind his porn watching caused her sex drive to decrease severely, in the past, caused arguments and depression etc. and now she while she is a lttle happier, shes concerned hes back at it. but he is a very moral gentleman who has made it clear as he needs to trust her, she needs to trust him when he says hes not jerking off to porn. without trust u have nothing. he said he just looks at the porn nothing more. she replied to him, he cant watch porn without getting stimulated. he said to her shes not right on that. well, no guy watches porn as if its a sci-fi movie. a guy cant help but be aroused by the visual images projected to him. and she said she csant believe him when he says he just looks at it once in awhile but he does not jerk off. well, the history on the pc says hes viewed quite a bit of different clips off of youporn. but she has not told him shes been checking up on him. as it is hes been using a totally differernt search engine and although he thinks shes either unaware of it, or, that she does not know how to check the history, but she has figured out how to and when he has said he has not been on the site often, inside her head she knows hes a liar. so how to deal with this siuation? especially when he claims hes been getting better every day. she said to me yea, getting better at trying to hide it or lie about it. but shes caught on quickly and its bringing her down again.
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anal sex, at work, best friend, depressed, horny, liar, libido, porn, sex drive, vagina Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): If your partner male or female is causing you distress and damaging your selfworth and you ask them to stop doing this and they don't it is time to part company.Whether it is porn or anything else causing this it dosn't really matter.
A
male
reader, benefattore  +, writes (29 October 2008):
 Tell your friend to give him what he wants, and there won't be a reason to watch women on the computer.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2008): She can either put up with it or get rid of him. He is causing her pain and making her feel awful. If he is not willing to seek medical assistance (if he has an addiction) then in the long run she is better of without him.
She should be asking the question of why he gets off watching women being 'banged' and 'double penetration' at all. Its degrading. It shows women at men's mercy.
At the end of the day it sounds like it is really affecting her. I'd say get rid of him .. He's lying to her (not a good sign in a relationship) and he's watching material that is bordering on violence.
Time to let him go!
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