A
female
age
30-35,
*riaz
writes:I work on campus in a computer lab, and really enjoy working with the students. But there is this one man (at least twice my age, maybe more) who comes into the lab occasionally, and he is overly-friendly with me, and it makes me uncomfortable. He tries to sit close to me, and when i move away, he moves in closer. I try to maintain a distance by using as few words as possible when talking to him and try not to make eye contact with him, but that does not deter him. My boss knows about him, and now quite a few students know about him too. I want to confront him about his behavior, but he has a personality disorder, and I don't want to set him off. How do I keep him at bay?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 February 2014):
 Priaz, you have to take the bear and the card to the HR people on campus and explain the situation. You can't confront him on his behavior, that's not your job, that's the university's job.
Go to HR tomorrow and tell them what is happening, take the card and the bear with you.
If the guy shows up tomorrow, you say, "Archie, you are sitting too close you are making me uncomfortable, I will get someone else to help you." And then leave.
When you talk to HR, you tell them that you don't want to set this guy off because of his personality disorder, that you want to help him in the context of your job, but that you will need some training in how to deal with a guy who is making inappropriate advances.
Basically, you are putting the onus on the HR staff at the university to deal with this. It's not your job to accept unwanted advances and gifts.
Go be brave.
And you can certainly try the blue cheese method, in the meantime, it might work!
A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (12 February 2014):
 There is a good way to do it and please, don't think I'm kidding you, it has been tried by a senior official who asked me to help him, as the girl he went out with was his immediate superior. His whole career was on the razor edge.So, here is what I have to say: you have to be more friendly with this guy, enough to be able to talk to him at point-blank range, that's fundamental. But before that, when you see him coming, find an excuse (or just leave the room) to go to the toilets. There, manage to chew a bit of blue cheese (any stinking cheese will do it though) then come back to have a little conversation with the parasite.Cheese stink is incomprehensible when it's out of context. After just two or three rounds of this, for sure the guy will choose another victim. There is nothing like a filthy breath to kill ones passion. Which is true, alas, for real passions too, so ladies and gentlemen, never EVER neglect your dental hygiene, and ALWAYS have some mint pills at hand.
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A
female
reader, priaz +, writes (12 February 2014):
priaz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionand he just gave me a stuffed bear and a card...
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