A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I met a man on the internet after a month of talking to him etc,anyway when we did meet i was totally smitten with him from the start and it looked like he was keen as well.Well we have arranged to meet again in the new year,now my problem is this...When he went away for a week at xmas he didn't txt me much,it was me that contacted him 1st and when i mentioned this he said i was being silly then tonite when i contacted him on msn he said that he couldn't talk because he had friends round for dinner and he was rushing,i understood that but it was the way he just brushed me off,not asking if i was ok etc.Am i reading into this all wrong or is he trying to keep his distance but likes me anyway? Help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2007): I don't like that he said don't be silly...he should have said...please don't worry.
It's is an odd word to use.
So...just take it slow and realize that you are not dating this man, there is no commitment and therefore...stop acting like a possessive girlfriend.
Take this slow. Stop attaching meaning to this...it is just still in the baby stages of interested.
Happy New Years.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2007): Christmas and New Year are busy times with family and friends and as you said, he went away for Christmas.
If you were in regular contact (emails you a lot from work) before that, and yesterday he had dinner guests and was rushing to put the finishing touches to getting ready - in fact, they might already have arrived - its not unreasonable that he had not got much time to talk.
I really wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Besides, when you asked him he told you not to be silly, right?
Once the season is over and things settle down again, see how it goes. Anyway, if you are dating and he contacts you most of the time, there's no reason why you can't contact him, as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes im 100% that he's not married.
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A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (31 December 2006):
 He has his own life to live nad is not fully commited to you....
I MUST ask, are you completely SURE he is not married?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your good advice Malyce,the fella im on about is in his mid 40's and he has had relationships,longest one being 8 yrs.When we 1st met there was sexual contact but no sex,just kissing and cuddling and he was very attentive towards me,we live 25 miles apart but thats no problem.When he is at work he emails me all day,its just when there was silence for that xmas week when i was doing the txting 1st and the msn incident last night did upset me and i thought it wouldn't.It scares me how i feel about him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): How long has he been single for?
If he hasn't really experienced a healthy, adult relationship ever or for sometime...his lack of understanding and sensitivity may come across as cold. He just may not know that he is hurting you and to be honest...it all seems on your side as you are the one who is smitten.
Trust...faith...time.
It is a season to be busy.
Invite him for "coffee" in the New Year. Get to know him as a friend first before committing your heart to him; chances are he doesn't view you in the same light so that there will create problems.
Friends first.
Best Wishes.
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