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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: i'm in love with my bf and we've been seeing each other for 6 months even though we have been friends for about 5 years. The problem is that he wants us to get married and i'm not sure if i really consider marriage for me as i was stood up at the altar once, about 2yrs ago which he is aware of.I'm afraid of losing him, he says marriage to me means alot to him and he has been waiting for me all this while. I cant help my fear of marriage. What should i do to break out of this? i feel slightly suffocated thinking of marriage but dont want to lose him.thanks. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (31 December 2006):
 Hi dear,
why not try it this way. Have a court wedding where both of u go sign the documents together without guests.Then u can floow it up with the main wedding with family/guests . In this way u fear of being stood up which i can assume is holding you back will be rest assured since u are already man and wife.
Hope this helps.
Goodluck and happy new year!
A
female
reader, xNatx +, writes (31 December 2006):
 I think six months is a bit fast even though you have been mates for a long time tell him you need a little more time maybe another six months or until you feel ready. Try not to think of what happened last time i no it may seem hard but you have been friends for a long time and if you no the relationship is steady and you no he really means it when he says he wants to get married go for it but when you feel ready, and if he loves you he will understand you needing some more time and you wont loose him. I relly hope this helps and that things go well for you xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2006): Get thee to some individual counselling to dig up the garbage that has your fears running wild and that may scare away a good thing.
Five years for a good friend to prove how reliable and trustworthy he is and you are hesitant?
Please...counselling.
Also do some couple's counselling too.
Patience. Work. Counselling. You will get to a place where you can see things clearer and make a decision you can be happy with.
Take care and have a Happy New Years with your BF.
*hugs*
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