A
female
age
30-35,
*vam1234
writes:I have been in a relationship with my BF for 5 months and we have known each other for 1 and half years. We have not have sex yet. But we have french kissed and cuddled. He keeps asking for sex. He says that we should take it further because it is a natural progression. he says that french kissin (for a long period time) is much more intimate than the sex itself. So if we have gone to that level of intimacy then why not take it further. Do you think he is right in saying that french kissing is much more intimate than sex.Do you think I should still have sex or should I wait. I am 18 and and a virgin he is 19 and is very experienced.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (23 October 2008):
Yeah I bet he says lots of thing about why he should be allowed into your pants.
You need to tell him you are not ready and want to wait for a while longer.
If he keeps nagging then he is not the guy to lose your virginity to and you should leave him.
However, you could agree to hand jobs and other foreplay. You'll need to work up to sex and get used to being turned on etc so you could try that. Just make it clear that it will NOT go any further.
The poor guy is probably frustrated and there are plenty of fun things you can do between kissing and sex.
Oh and, no although I do love kissing and think it is intimate, it cannot be compared to having a man shove something actually inside you.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (23 October 2008):
 It sounds to me like he way too damn keen to get in your pants, and is using dodgey arguments to put pressure on you.
I disagree that french kissing in more intimate than sex. While french kissing is an intimate act, ultimately, it's just you guys playing with each others mouths. Sex involves more sensation, more emotional investment, and higher risk (pregnancy, stds, etc).
Your boyfriend shouldn't be trying to convince you to have sex - he should be willing to wait. Just because it's a 'natural progression', or so he says, does not mean you have to 'progress' any time soon. You have sex when YOU are good and ready, not because you feel like you have to. If you are feeling obligated, that's not a good thing.
If you are at all unsure, don't do it. Losing your virginity is something you only do once - so make sure you won't regret it. It's entirely your decision, not his - no matter how much he wheedles.
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