A
female
age
51-59,
*ymgirl
writes:Hi there , i'm the ex partner of the guy who posted 'i think i'm wrecking everyones lives ' on november the 18 .He says he has now finished with his girlfriend of the last 7 months who i caught him cheating with when i was 8 months pregnant.Itook him back before the birth thinking he had only seen her twice but as the weeks went on i found out more and more lies he had told me , finally he told me two months ago that he had in fact being seeing this girl all along . Iwas as you can imagine distraugt and found myself looking after a 3 month old baby on my own having to leave my home and move in with my younger brother and now cannot work in my own business either . I have gone from being an independent happy go lucky positive woman with her own house car and business to seeking welfare .His cruelty and selfishness during this time was unbearable . Let me tell you also that i am not in any way a silly woman but could not have imagined he was capable of all this .He now says he want nothing more than to get me and out son back but i have just gotten off the phone with him and unbelievably he told me he answered the phone and had a chat with the girl he was having an affair with as he said i gave him no hope of us getting back together .I know in my heart he is weak and not able to go thru tough times or be on his own while he proves to me he is worthy of any kind of trust again before i even consider taking him back.So i suppose i have answered my own question.He just doesn't get it .Still i would still like some input if anyone has any advice , Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2010): Dear OP run as far as u can from this despicable man. You have endured such horrible treatment from him. This is not love. This man cared nothing for his new born baby and he almost destroyed you.
How can u trust him at all. This man was cruel and you became destitute. U do not do this to people u apparently love.
Get back on your feet but stay away from this user and abuser. You now know his true colours and u know he is untrustworthy. Why do u even want to consider anything more with him. He will just break your heart again. He will not change and he will destroy you all over again.
Congrats on the baby but u deserve so much better. And you will get better.
LoveGirl
A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl  +, writes (24 November 2010):
 This is supposed to be a time of joy and celebration in your life. Instead, you have been abandoned by the father of your baby, you’ve lost your job, and now you are stuck living with your brother. Meanwhile, the father of your newborn son is out cavorting with another woman whose happiness he has placed above yours and your sons. My heart goes out to you.
If you read his post… he says he realizes how cruel he has been, but he can’t seem to part with this other woman. My goodness… where are his priorities? At the very least, you’d think he’d dump this other woman for the sake of his own flesh and blood! If I were you, I would print out his post… and if he turns into a deadbeat dad, show this to your son when he turns 18. He will not want anything to do with his biological father ever again.
What kind of man would run off with his mistress when his own girlfriend is 8 months pregnant? That is beyond selfish! I hope you never let this man back into your life. How could you ever be certain he wouldn’t run back to his mistress again?
I wish you and your son all the best. Please keep us updated.
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A
female
reader, romany  +, writes (23 November 2010):
 Awww, I'm so sorry your having to deal with this, right when you should be having a blast, having a young baby, planning for his first xmas.
This guy is un-blooming-believable, he knows he is a waste of space, then continues to think of himself, and his own potential lonliness, meanwhile, your at your brothers, and feeling horrid.
You are bound to this bloke for the next 18 years at least, if in the future, he finally gets the balls to be a selfless man, who puts his family first instead of his ego, then no one here is gonna judge you if you make another go, however, now, I'd tell him to take a hike, go mess his life up some more, but leave yours out of it.
As for you losing what you had and what you were, you haven't lost yourself hon, your still strong, this would have destroyed alot of woman in your position, but your doing ok, you've been true to yourself, you gave him a 2nd chance and you have nothing to reproach yourself for, You got a lovely son, and you will get back to yourself, remember your hormones are all over the place, and you have your families support, You will become independant again. Dont be embarrassed or ashamed to be on benefits either, you've paid your own way for years before this, and I've no doubt you will again in the future, Your actually doing ok, coz you've kept your self respect.
Good Luck. x
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A
female
reader, romany +, writes (23 November 2010):
For those wanting to help, the previous thread this OP is talking about is this
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-feel-like-im-wreaking-everyones-lives.html
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