A
female
age
26-29,
*smelody
writes:Hello everyone. I hope you are alright. So I Had this situation where, my close cousins that grew up with me(almost like my brothers cause I call their mom "mom" too since mine died 13 y.a and she is my mother's sister). Obviously they have a cousin from their dad's side and I love with him. We were dating for a month, after two years of him feeling guilty and letting me it was wrong for us to be together. During this two years, we were making out and touching each other, but weren't in a relationship. During this time for some reason he would always turn his back on me and put an end to us, mainly because of the distance but now he is coming to study in the place I live. He asked me out this year in September we dated for a month but he then broke up with me, because he thinks it's wrong for us to like each other and also he told me he engaged in a conversation with my cousins and he asked them if "someone they knew was dating or just doing things with me, how would that feel" they told him it wouldn't be cool. So he broke up with me. He does everything for his family and friends. I just feel like he never gave a thought to me or my feelings only. About his family and friends, before the break up. Please help me. I don't know what to think or even feel.
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female
reader, msmelody +, writes (25 November 2013):
msmelody is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank You so much for the advice. I won't. Because I want to close this chapter and I don't wanna be where I was 2 years ago. Yes at 17, doing that isn't wise. Thank you so much. May God bless you and guide you.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 November 2013):
 Yeah well, temptation; the forbidden fruit:)- I think that's also why he always came back. If he got into his head that you are blood relatives ( again, if you have no common ancestor, and I don't mean Adam:)- you are not ) that must have added the exciting flavour of transgression and taboo to something per se pretty banal.
If he wants to come back- don't let him this time, ok ? what, you are 16-17 , and at this age, you'd be content to be the backstreet girl nobody knows about ? naaaah... That would sound sort of desperate even if you were a lonely old lady with only her cats for company- but at 17, it's just a crazy waste of your time .
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A
female
reader, msmelody +, writes (25 November 2013):
msmelody is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thank you so much for answering. I appreciate that you took your time to do so :). Yes I think you are right about it. It's just that.... He has put things to an end between us before. But when he asked me out I still said yes, simply because I guess I'm not the relationship and having and not having a boyfriend has basically no effect on my life, except for this one. The thing is after all he always used to come back to me. But thank you for your answer. You were just the last chapter I was waiting to read before I could finish this one. Thank you so much :))
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (25 November 2013):
You have to think.. that in future you have first think and then leap. You have to know what you want and where you want something to go, before ven starting.
If you want a relationship, or an official bf, you don't go around making out or touch him on the sly. And that's not moralism, that's common sense / emotional self de3fense 101.
You also have to make sure that the other person is cool with whatever the circumstances are, which in your case were clearly NOT: If the guy had been feeling guilty since TWO years because of your being vaguely related ( which, personally, I don't understand , because if he is first cousin on their father's side of your first cousins on your mother side, that means you have no common ancestor, right ?- so you are not even blood related ) you should know that having overcome his resistence , probably due to horniness, was probably temporary and short lived .
As for not thinking about your feelings, well, I don't know, was he supposed to ? After just dating one month ? Could he not say the same about you, that you just think of yourself in wanting to date and continue a situation that makes him uncomfortable , and gives HIM bad feelings ?...
Not that I believe 100% to his justification. I mean, in part might have been because of your family ties, in part... he was just not that into you. Otherwise he would not have given up so easily.
Don't be sad, it's just one of those things that happen very often when you start your dating life. Next time, be smart and only go for guys who would be happy and PROUD to be seen in public with you.
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