A
female
age
41-50,
*hewifey
writes:Dear Cupid-I am a 25 year old woman with lets just a say a good sexual past. My Husband is older and doesn't quite have the statistics that I have. And he's very sensitive about the topic of Sex. I want sex to last longer and be a little more adventurous. We've talked about it but it's usually a short conversation and he takes it as I'm yelling or scolding him. Which I'm not, but thats how it's being taken as. He is very nieve with everything and has little self confidence. We been together now for almost 3 years and As much as I try to show him different things and talk to him about different options he just isn't open to it. Any Advice?- ~The Wifey~
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confidence, last longer, sexual past Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Actions speaks louder than words.
You will need to be patient and slowly lead and teach him.Be gentle and go slow.Reward him when he does what you want from him.
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Gee. . . good question. "Baby duck's" suggestion sounds really good, but I would have a couple of questions before giving a man's point of view.
How much older is he? How much does he know about your past sexual experiences?
If he knows about most all, and there is little that you have not done, he still accepted and married you, so one would think that he realizes that he should be adventurous to satisfy your needs and desires. But I certainly would not talk about it anymore . . . ever. That may be turning him off.
If intimate at all some evening, just suggest some things or begin doing something like going down on him with no forewarning. I once had a much younger gal who often "attacked" me as soon as I walked in the door, threw me down on the bed or floor and sucked me off. An entire evening of hot sex always followed soon after and we would be entirely spent much later. It was such a turn on for me - the element of surprise.
Gosh, this is a good one. I'm probably twice as old as he but with such an opportunity, I'd be jumping through hoops to make my younger woman happy. Why won't he? I just don't know and wish there were answers here.
Maybe try some those surprises?
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A
female
reader, A Cappella +, writes (11 February 2008):
 Find a counselor, preferably one who specializes in sex therapy. If you want a future with this man, you need to be able to talk to him. ESPECIALLY about sex. If he can't relax enough about your "past" to stop feeling self-conscious, you're never going to have the sex life you want, or the relationship you want.
Good luck.
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