A
female
age
30-35,
*ostinFL89
writes:i've been with this guy for 2 1/2 years, married for almost 1 and I thought he was for me. english is his second language, and even though i speak his language too I feel like I can't communicate with him at all. i like to use big vocabulary and i can never use big words with him. he makes no effort to learn how to speak english better. there are many other things that aggravate me about him, like lack of sex, and when we do "make love" its for less than 5 minutes. i try all the time to make him want me but it almost never works, or he only last for a little while. i think i found someone this is intellectually my equal and i have no clue what to do. i find it hard to live with someone that i have to explain words to all the time. i just want to ask if anyone has ever been in the position: you love someone, but you can't get the spark back and you know he isn't on the same page as you, what do you do?
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female
reader, LostinFL89 +, writes (23 March 2009):
LostinFL89 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI speak his language and I make more of an effort to learn more then he does. He refuses to speak to me in english. I have tried talking to him about how I feel and he doesn't take it seriously. I just think I deserve better. I've been to hell and back in my life and I just want a man that shows he cares about me and that i feel like i can have an actual conversation with. my self esteem sucks i think that is why i stay with him. i don't think i can get any better. i realized that i think this way today. idk..
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (22 March 2009):
 I hate to encourage this but if you are truly not happy and by the sound of it you are looking for excuses to leave him. Do it, have the courage to leave this guy and don't string him along while you have an (emotional) affair.
But if you do fall in love with this other guy try spending a bit more time together before getting married. Most "Loving" relationship tend to fall apart after 3-5 years if you can get past the 5 year point then often you are actually going to stay together.
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