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male
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anonymous
writes: Ok so, me and my girlfriend have been dating for over 3 months and we see each other almost EVERYDAY! Well, a few days ago she said she wants a break because it's like I'm holding her down and she can't have fun anymore! So, I agreed and now she suggests that I come to her house as friends and I said no since we are still on the break! She then states if I love her then I would come over. But, if your on a break what's the purpose of seeing each other! I don't know I'm just confused about this whole break thing! Can you help me out here?
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (3 December 2006):
 Welcome to the crazy world of 'breaks' where up is down and black is white.
Seriously, the concept of a relationship 'break' is nonsense if you look at it closely, so trying to figure out what 'reasonable behaviour whilst on a break' is is not going to get you anywhere.
If I was in your shoes I'd tell her that since she wanted a break she's got it. Don't go and see her until the break is over. Assuming you set a deadline? Since she's asked for something silly, she should suffer the consequences. This is not very sympathetc advice by the way, please feel more than free to ignore it.
On the plus side, this mess is a good reason to realize that you shouldn't be having any more 'breaks'.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2006): a "break" is not seeing eacher or not going out, but she cant say your holding her back because she still inviting you round and saying if you loved her would is just out of order its like she wants proff that you love her, i would watch it she sounds like she is playing games.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2006): i think she suggested the whole break up thing because she may feel like your spending too much time together, but her suggesting you to go round 'as friends' means that she misses you and wants you around. i think you need to tell her that she can't have it both ways, she needs to tell you exactly where you stand, but its possible that she doesn't know herself and if thats the case you need to tell her that a break means a break, she needs time to think and meeting up as friends won't help.
hope that helps!
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