| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi. I'm 15 and like this boy a lot. I can picture us together and married and stuff in the future. but the strange thing is he is my mate. I really wanna go out with him so much but i dont really like his personality sometimes. He acts as though i am dumb sometimes and i hate that so why do i still really wanna go out with him? He is ugly so its DEFINITLY not about looks! I dont really even fancy his looks. I just always think about him and wanna be with him. I know other girls will NEVER wanna go out with him cos he is so ugly (no offence) and i think that is why im attracted to him, cos i dont want him to be with anyone else just me. Do I fancy him? Why do i wanna go out with him if I know that he is not the personality i am looking for?but im confused, any help? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (13 June 2006):
 How handsome a boy looks has very little to do with whether girls like him. Stuff like sense of humour, confidence, intelligence, and doing interesting things in their life are more important. It's different for guys fancying girls unfortunately, at least until they grow up a bit!
You say you are confused. My guess is that one of two things are happening (maybe even both at once):
1. The guy is really cool and you do really fancy him. Maybe he's funny, or cool, or confident, or whatever. Like I said, looks aren't especially important.
2. You are unconfident and want to be with him because you think you can keep him. The fact that you say he treats you like you are dumb sometimes makes me think this might be true. It's very common for unconfident girls to date guys who are not worth it because they feel like they are not worth much themselves. Kind of like saying "Well he's the best I can get". If this is true, you should spend some time looking at your own self esteem and how you feel about yourself. This is a big subject, but you can start by looking up "low self esteem" in google to see if it sounds like this is what is happening to you.
There are other possibilities, but I think these two are the most likely.
Either way, the relationship could work out to be good or bad. You just need to make sure you're getting what you want out of it, and don't let him be nasty to you or take advantage of you. You deserve a great boyfriend, so don't settle for less. And I also reccommend avoiding having sex at your age (yes its illegal), you'll find that sex is much more likely to mess up the relationship than improve it when you are as young as you are, and that if you wait a bit longer for sex you'll have much more fun when you do finally do it.
A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (12 June 2006):
 dear reader stop stressing calm down. your friends right? then you should know him inside and if his a good person who care's about looks but don't just go with him out of pity that won't do anyone any favours. i think you should have a word with him see if you can see hows things go if you were to get together don't bottle your feelings up you need to be open with this guy and you never know you might just get that dream you keep having
good luck sweetie keep me posted xxx
...............................
|
