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male
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anonymous
writes: im the one that posted a few day be4 bout loving my cousin. i have told my cousin (boy) that i had a crush on my cousin (girl) but did not say that i love her.to make the long story short, he is threating to embrass me to everyone in my family and those that know me for no reason and black-mails me if i dnt do what he says he gonna tell every1. plzz help me as i dont know what to do and dont want people to call me a freak as he did etc. i thought i could tell him anything why is he doing this now and any suggestions on what to do??? plzz help as i spent the last hour crying even though i am a boy :'(:(:(:(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2007): dude ....just dont do what he says ,,,,,,,,,if he says he's going to tell everyone ,,,,,,,say,"do it".and when/if he does....DENIE the whole thing and ,,,,try to act as beliveable as you can,,,and look serious ,,,,when you denie
what he accuses you of..........i also have a major crush on my "15yr old female cousin"(im 16)
A
male
reader, jimbo_jones +, writes (3 March 2007):
well your cousin seems pretty shady about the whole situation, so here's a couple of underhanded tactics you can use. Note that the starting point for all these strategies is you refusing his demands.
1)When he tells, just act bored and say he made it up because he is a hater. e.g "what kind of douche bag just sits around and thinks up negative stuff to say about people."
2) Get revenge! Do something shady to him, like beat him up, or take one of his shirts or something. Then say he made it all up to get back at you for whatever you did to him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007): You should just try to lower your cousin's self confidence. Do not give into your cousin's blackmail as he may use this against if he does eventually tell your family. Just let him tell your family, remember they are your family and they are going to believe you and not some stranger(nephew-cousin) over their son. I think you should just deny it when he tells your family. Who knows? Your family may understand. If you really love your cousin, well it gonna be hard road to go through... but if you really want this, there are gonna be lots of barriers and problems to overcome. I personally think that you should just forget this whole matter and find yourself a new girlfriend. At least when your cousin does tell on you, you can prove to your parents that your in love with this new girlfriend and your cousin is just your cousin.This will make your cousin (boy) seem stupid in front of your parents and hard to trust. When he does tel your parents... do not panic...as this will give you away!!!Is your boy cousin also closely related to your girl cousin???????I wish you the best of luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): There is an old saying: "The truth shall set you free"
There is nothing wrong with being who you are. If you are in love with your cousin, you might not be able to have a relationship with her, but there is nothing wrong with being honest about who you are. There is also nothing wrong about opening your heart and letting people see inside. It is a good thing, but can also be extremely difficult. Some people will judge you or and try make you feel shameful or guilty for being who you are, but in truth, they are the ones who are wrong for judging you and not accepting you. Accept yourself and stand tall. Be proud and confident in who you are, it is not a sin or a crime for you to be who you are, especially if you are expressing yourself through love. There is nothing greater.
Your cousin is trying to blackmail you. Do not give in to his blackmail. Do not try to force him to tell or not tell either, you cannot control the choices he will make with his life, in choosing the person he wants to be. That is for him to decide, if he wants to be a good or a bad person to you.
I could be wrong, but I also suspect that your family will understand and accept you. They might surprise you. People get crushes on all sorts of people, its natural. Its ok. They might not be ok with you having a relationship with your cousin, especially if she is a closely related cousin, and there are some good reasons for this, but there is nothing wrong with having a crush or having feelings of love for anyone. No matter how it all works out, don't forget that, it is the most important thing.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, zgeek  +, writes (21 February 2007):
 blackmail is definitely bad....if you let it continue your cousin will want you to do more and expect more from you and in the process will get more blackmail on you and more evidence of things that you did to avoid his telling your family in the first place. It is a vicious circle I know from experiance....well i would let him tell your family and then just deny it. And also lower his confidence about this whole thing by telling him that who will believe him? also it would be helpful if I knew your age so I could advise you further. Just deny it to your family, lower his confidence oh and also this will probably put a cap on your being able to see your female cousin anytime soon but don't protest because that will cause your family to lean towards your cousins (male) side and will raise more suspicions.
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A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (20 February 2007):
 It's never a good idea to enter into blackmail. If you do what he wants today he'll just want twice that tomorrow and so on. Let him tell them. If you're that embarassed you can deny it and accuse him of being the freak although that effectively puts paid to your chance of being with your cousin. I can't remember how old you are from your post or if I advised you on this originally and maybe neither of those things matter. What it essentially comes down to is how much do you want to be with your cousin? This was never going to be easy. There was always going to be problems and barriers to you two being together but if you're really in love you can overcome these.
CD
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (20 February 2007):
 It just goes to show that you can't trust everyone. I think you male cousin is being very immature over the whole situation. However if he does come out and make a fool of you then you are going to feel very embarrassed in front of your family and friends, which obviously is his intention. I really can't see a way around this, it seemed it was always leading this way. As i said in the earlier post, you would save yourself alot of hassel if you met a girl you were not related too.
good luck
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