A
female
age
36-40,
*illixxxx
writes:iv felt for a long time that i simply dont turn him on visually.what are definate signs your not the one turning him on??i remember a few weeks into dating him , we were in town and he thought nothing of pointing her out as his mates sister, fine, until he went on to say how unbelievably pretty she was ( that was the point in my head where i knew i was never goin to be the 1 simply due to no consideration if nothing else)i hate to say it cos it means it true but i feel i fooled myself the whole 3 tears cos i so badly wanted to be the one n wanted his love, and the more hurt he caused, the nore i needed it.what does it mean id=f your man is.quiet.almost blank seemingunintersted when you talk.says negative stuff and passes it as a joke.snaps at any chan.notices any thing u do wrong yet any good isnt valued or appreciated.sex is rushed, less intimate.can go off for a week at time, simply igmores you..when go to him for support, comfort he ignores you n isnt bothered your upset.caled you ugly more than once.tight with cash - didnt get even a card 4my birthdaym he said due to no money yet 12 day later he had cash for flowers for mothers dayhe seems distant n uninterested in sex, i dont feel th need, want or passion, no desire. sex is always in th dark, and it is like he does a little as possible,and its nearly always from behind,
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flowers, money, no desire Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (6 July 2011):
That's why you need to leave him. You're not the first to suffer this, and you sadly won't be the last. But you are a person who now sees the problem, and can get away from it.
A
female
reader, billixxxx +, writes (6 July 2011):
billixxxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks, sorry i ramble n make mistakes, dont even no who iam anymore
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A
female
reader, billixxxx +, writes (6 July 2011):
billixxxx is verified as being by the original poster of the questionon my birthday las year he siad its jusat another day and went out til 11pm that night.this year not even a card, said he was skint (is whenever i ask anything cash related) yet brought flowers and a card 2 week later for his mum on mothers day. and wouildnt come out with me either.
the more i write the more ashamed i am and yes, he has destroyed me to the point i cant even make simple decisiona on my own,dont socialise, .
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 July 2011):
Basically, you're with an abuser who's just using you. There is nothing here at too to suggest that he cares for you, loves you, respects you etc. All there is, is you being a good person and him abusing that.
I think you need to get away from him. He's not the one for you at all, and the fact that you think he is shows that you're suffering from low esteem, low confidence etc because there is no way that a truly happy, confident woman would accept this.
The guy will continue to use and abuse you until such time as another, better victim comes along. Then you'll be left with nothing.
Get away from him, spend some real time working in yourself so you never end up with a guy like this again, and enjoy your own life and find a better man.
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