A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex calls me every night before he goes to bed. He talks to me like nothing has changed and it hurts me because I know he is talking to someone else. I'm going out to see him and want to tell him that we should work it out and get back together. We've been officially broken up for 2 months now. The reason that we split in the first place was because I felt he was not a support system when it came to a very difficult time in my life. I was going through stress at work and couldn't see him that much. He took this personally and eventually pulled away from me.Should I tell him when I go see him in 2 weeks that we should work things out or wait until our final meeting in a month? (He is flying out to a wedding with me). His best friend told me that he still cares about me but can't do a relationship right now. And also, why does he keep in contact with me? Is he just using me to make himself feel better? Any insight would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): **ORIGINAL POSTER**
He moved across country, that is why I have to talk to him on the phone. We did long distance for a year so its not a big deal to me---so when I go visit him this next time, I will do it. I like face to face talking rather then on the phone. Thank you!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): From what you have described it does sound like he is keeping you around perhaps to feel better and to have you as a back up, really. A guy who loves you does not pull away just because you were stressed and busy at work. There were other reasons why he pulled away that perhaps he is not telling you about. Maybe he fell out of love. Maybe he met someone else. Both of these reasons are way more plausible than the reason he gave you. Other people on here have advised you to talk to him but I really don't see what good that would do. It's pretty obvious what's up. His friend even told you that he "doesn't want a relationship." Talking really isn't the solution. And if you do talk to him about it, I guarantee he will say something to the extent that he needs time, he is not ready for a relationship at the moment, and then he will ask you to hang in there. But he is just giving you false hope. What are you going to do then? Keep taking his calls every night and keep having your heart broken everytime? What you need to is STOP talking to him and try to move on. Don't let him call you all the time. Don't let him call you at all. Cut all contact with him. Cause he is just stringing you along for his own benefit and that's not fair. Tell him that you respect his decision to break up but that you can't talk to him anymore. And if he doesn't understand why tell him that's not your problem. Wish him all the best and MOVE ON. No contact.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): I suggest when next he phones you; you ask him to meet with you; tell him there is something you really need to discuss with him; it is very important but you don't want to discuss it over the phone;
Meet with him and then clear this matter with him in person;
there after you either will be getting together and if not; DO NOT accept his phone calls; just ignore them;
You deserve the best; but you have to state cleary what you want and what is not acceptable; do not let hi use you emotionally;
Be strong!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (26 June 2008):
Talk to him as soon as you can or this will just carry on, and on. Why not talk to him about it tonight if he's going to ring you anyway.
Ask him if he sees you getting back together any time?
If he says no then ask him why he keeps phoning and acting like he's still your boyfriend.
He'll either stop calling and let you get over him, or he'll agree to talk about getting back together when you next meet.
Good Luck!! xx
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