A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 21 and Joe is 28. we've been dating for like a year and a half, hes a cook at a restaurant,im a waitress.he's mexican. i dont know exactly when he came to america, but he is still technically married. heres the nasty part: we work with his wife.I heard from her talking to someone that they've been married 8 years. I think that 8 years ago, they married for love. Now, though they still live together, they are "single" i have a hard time understanding it myself...but i know that she has a boyfriend and she sleeps over his house, talks about him to her best friend that we all work with so we have to hear about their relationship all the time. I believe they'll divorce once he gets his legal papers because he came to the country illegially or something, I know nothing about it, because he never talked to me about it. He says that we will be together. We say 'i love yous', last week referring to my mom, he said something about 'we are going to be family one day' ..It made me smile. Though he is the sweetest guy ever, he's never been really promising. We've never talked about it. I just really want to be with him. it sounds crazy. But I cannot stand it when I am away from him, So they have been married 8 years, so how long does it take for him to get his papers or whatever it is that they are waiting on?? I think that is the only thing that is keeping them together.. At work, he wants to keep things on the downlow, and I cant blame him. But of course, it gets to me. When we work with his wife, he is extremely quiet. I am not the only one that says that. It kinda gets to me. When we are working together, he is funny and flirty. Even around his friends and coworkers. The other day, I had his friend ask me about it. He told me they are seperated and he doesn't care, but I told him we had nothing going on. We never hooked up. Im a virgin. And hes never pressured me into having sex with him. We've talked about it,I want to give it up to him, but I feel a little hesitant. He says that when i am ready, we will do it. no rush. So its not like he is pressuring me to have sex with him or he is only interested in having sex with me because in all this time we've never got to that. I feel that he is my other half. I dont want to be without him. I don't want to know what its like. How can I make him mine? Any advice is appreciated!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (17 November 2010):
 hi ok well am afraid you need to sit down and talk to him about this, if he is in the country illegally then he wont be able to get a divorcee without being sent back to mexico. So thats probably the dilemma that he is in at the moment therefore he cant get seperated legally from his wife, if you have such strong feelings for him then you really need to sit down with him and ask him were he sees you and him in the future and ask him about his papers and what it would mean if he got a divorce. There are a huge amount of illegal immigrants in america and am assuming hunny that he is one of them you need to ask him about it before you go on any further and get hurt. Goodluck.
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