A
female
age
41-50,
*eace143
writes:im a stay at home mom with three children aged 2 to 7 years. Last night my husband said i don't do half of what he does. i feel bad. i take care of house hold and kids no break. i keep a clean house. He takes care of us to the max. always buying me things and the kids. Taking all 5 of us on expensive trips. not to mention the roof over our heads. What can i do to make him feel number one? we have a good sex life.I try doing sexy things for him, but he still feels what he does for me doesn't compare to what he does.
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female
reader, peace143 +, writes (22 January 2013):
peace143 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI also need to say, anytime I have an opinion, it ends up him saying i sh** on him. I have an patient idea. I told him not to tell anyone. It ends up he talked to a couple people trying to get the ball rolling. I get upset because he did not tell me first. So i stand up for myself and he calls it shi**ing on him for trying to help. He says I always sh** on him.... as a man, do they not like women talking back or what?????? I'm an alfa and so is he. I try to watch my words so I don't upset him by saying it the wrong way.
A
female
reader, peace143 +, writes (22 January 2013):
peace143 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone, im amazed at the answers i got.
i do get caught up in everyday things, but i do need to make more time for us.. thank you for bringing more of a light on how he is acting. he doesnt do anything around the house. i take care of everything. he had maids growing up so he doesnt understand what i go through. again last night same sh**. do you think he might not be happy where he is in life? just an out there question. kids r getting up. got to get ready for school. i will write later. thank you again
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 January 2013):
 While my first reaction is to suggest that you take him aside and tell him how much of an A$S he is being.... I'd like to put that aside and suggest this:
He's saying things to you, which things are hurtful and divisive..... They're really kind of childish, if you think about it.... Soooo, "give" him his childishness.... and then take control of the dialogue that you and he have... Tell him....
"You know, hubbsy-wubbsy, I KNOW that you work hard to be the breadwinner for this family. The kids can't tell you... because they're kids... but I can.... So, Yes, we love and appreciate you. And, in addition, there are home matters that need to be tended to... and those fall to me to be responsible for them. AND, I do them cheerfully, since THAT is important in order for our family to be a coordinated, well-oiled machine....
Let's not consider if, or that, one of us needs to worry about being the more important parent.... It really takes TWO parents and adults to make a HOME work... and YOU and I make a great team at doing that.... So, let's not ever contest which of us is the better parent or partner... and let's bathe in the warm sunshine of what a great job we are BOTH doing to make our's a great family...."
Then, remind him that you love him... even tho' he does say things that are stupid!!!!
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): Does he mean you also need to work and split the bills? Really, he is counting who does what? Instead of taking pride in being a good provider for his family he complains about you nnot being to his standards of
Accomplished woman?
I raised 2 kids trying to work at first and then droping the idea altogether. I raise two healthy and good kids, putting all my time into this very hard task. You should be praised for working so hard and being a good mom and wife. And you husband should hear it from you
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2013): Does he also do house cleaning and other chores at home? If so I can see how he feels he does more work since he would be working all day then coming home and doing his share of chores too.I get that you are busy all day taking care of the kids but it's not always as soul-sucking as working a job for a boss. I mean yes you are doing work all day but it is work that directly benefits you and your family. As is taking care of your kids. Spending all day working a job dealing with bosses and coworkers and customers isn't as emotionally satisfying so in a way I can see why he would feel he has it tougher. And then if he also does house chores as well like lawn mowing, fixing things, paying bills, running errands etc I can see how he feels he has it worse. He is just as tired as you, but doesn't get to spend as much time with the kids while getting tired.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 January 2013):
 You take care of three children under 7, 7 days a week, plus all the house cleaning , laundry, cooking, ... and that's not even half of what he does ???
And you want to reward him for this ignorant, arrogant assumption , making him feel " special " ?
Don't worry, I'd say that he feels already too special enough, just for spending money on HIS OWN kids ! Where else does he think a family man should spend it on , hookers ?
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (5 January 2013):
Maybe you need to work on strengthening your relationship and not just taking care of your kids and pleasing him in bed. Arrange for romantic evenings and make him feel special and allow you to to enjoy time together that's not centered around working and being a parent.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (5 January 2013):
 I don't know what your husband does for a living, but taking care of three kids between the ages of 2 and 7 whilst still maintaing a clean, comfortable house and making sure the laundry is done, the meals cooked, and all the other little chores that are not much by themselves but add up to a whole big lot when put together is not an easy job.
Unless you have a maid to do it all for your of course.
How often does your husband take care of all three kids at once for more than a few hours on his own?
Don't allow him to negate what you do, raising kids to be happy, healthy well balanced individuals is not easy, it is probably one of the most important jobs on the planet!
I would suggest that next time he is due for time off that instead of an expensive holiday he stay home for a week taking care of the kids and house and you go and visit your mother, or an aunt or your favourite cousin for a week and let him see just what it is you do all day.
Sure, appreciate what he does for you and the family, its only fair and right, but don't let him put you down because you are working 24 hours a day, every day, as a mother, you need a week off, I bet when you go on those expensive holidays you are still the one making sure the family have their sunblock on and havent left their shoes someplace awkward!
http://mommylife.net/archives/2012/08/03/what%20did%20you%20do%20all%20day.jpg
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