A
female
age
41-50,
*abyblue4020
writes:I have been dating this guy on and off for a year. He is wonderful and caring. The only problem is he does not trust me and we are always arguing. He was in a terrible relationship and is pessimistic about love. He thinks I am going to do the things she has done and his actions show this. We are apart now and he wants to see me. I am pretty sure I should leave it alone but I love him and just wish it could work! I don't know whether to move on and forget him or try again for the fifth time! Help!!
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male
reader, sonic89 +, writes (3 October 2007):
 tell him that "if you just want someone to love you and care about you - then that is why i am here - but u have to learn to trust me" this is how i got over my emotinal scars
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): Rebound relationships are a disaster. He obviously hasnt gotten over his previous catastrophe and in a way is taking it out on you.
Until he can prove to you that he is still not carrying a huge chip on his shoulder why bother getting involved again? In a sense you are alos involved with his previous partner's infidelitys, you dont deserve it and he shouldnt lumber you with it.
I think you would be insane to even consider going out with him again, he is obviously very lonely but if this has happened before nothing will take away his jealously etc .
You're young, find someone else.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2007): I think its time to give him an ultimatum. You cant go on with someone like that forever. Give him one more chance and then if he messes it up, tell him to never speak to you again. That would work on me. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2007): You need to tell him that his insecurity is a cancer which is undermining any possible future relationship with you.
Spell it out to him - he either trusts you or he doesn't. If not, I don't think there's a future in your relationship unless he can forget the past and look to the future.
I would say you've given it a go often enough.
Phil
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 October 2007):
 If you still feel like trying, make sure he understands this is the last chance he will get. Not only does he need to understand that you're a different person, not the one who caused him pain; he also needs to understand that he's wasting his chances, and that no one will put up with him endlessly.
You don't deserve "on and off dating". He needs to commit to you, too. Sorry, he isn't wonderful if he doesn't trust you. He might be wonderful if he gave up his fears.
If he blows it again this time, do stick to your word: don't give him any other chances and forget about him.
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