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female
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*utemwiya
writes: i have been in a relationship for two years and it doesnt seem to be going anywhere, there is a history of him sort of controlling me and where my life is going. he told me that i couldnt go to uni because we would not work, so i didnt. i dont know whether i love him anymore. what is love meant to feel like? im fond of him but is that truly enough? he tells me im stuck with him and im so afraid of that. is this just a phase that will pass in the spring or is this it? i find myself drawn to a man i work with and this makes it even more complicated. if i leave him, will i regret it for the rest of my life?
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female
reader, pica +, writes (5 December 2006):
No you won't regret it. It might be hard but with some distance you'll feel better. The rest of your life is a long time and believe me you will not spend it thinking about this guy! But don't jump from one bad relationship into another guy's arms... the solution is not another man. Finish this one, spend some time deciding what you want to do and exploring your options. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2006): This bloke is a control freak. I know i was married to one and he wrecked my career, life etc. Please get rid of him now and try and get back on the uni track, i'm sure you can get back in. I just detest people like him, they really make me angry!!!You owe it to yourself to make something of yourself and not let this dirt bag have anymore control over you. You aren't with him forever, you have a right to a life.
Take care
xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): I think you're going to regret not going to university more. Someone so controlling disgusts me. If love was about controlling the happiness and welfare of your partner, wow, please leave me out of it then.
This is supposed to be a mutual intimate friendship - two partners, working together to achieve common goals. Are you achieving anything with him in your life?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2006): From the sounds of it, this man does not love you, it is all about him and his control over you, guys like this are really bad news and you have already given up who you are and your goal of going to university, which will affect your future and your success and you acheiving something in life that is yours alone.
I don't think you will regret leaving him, I think you will most definately regreat giving up your goal of furthering your education, you are not being selfish by putting your dream first, he is bein selfish in not wanting what will make you happy and successful in your own skin.
As far as the man at work goes, this is not a great idea either as work relationships are pretty tricky, and it sounds to me like you would benefit from being out of a relationship until you get back to you.
A 2 year realationship with someone who does not make mutual decisions with you and controls you has stripped you of some if not all of your identity....get it back by becoming more independent a self-sufficient.
Take care.
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