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female
,
anonymous
writes: I was seeing a guy and we split up. After a month he realised he really missed me and we got back together. It was mainly due to the fact that I went out with his friend first and we got together his friend was angry (I never slept with his friend).However, everytime I ask him if we are going to start going out properly he refuses to talk about it. I am 26 he is 25. It has been going on now for about 4 months, sex is great and we get on very well. He is so terrified to actually have me as his official girlfriend. He is good-looking and has alot of female attention. Rather than big him up I take the mickey out of him for it as on occasions I feel he needs to be taken down a peg or two. I would say I am also attractive but I don't let it go to my head like he does! He says he is scared to settle down but if he doesn't want to go out with me properly I feel I should leave it. He called me up a week back after a bit to drink telling me 'I was marriage material and 'the one' who he wants to settle down with' but the thought of settling down scares him! He says he doesn't remember saying this, although I didn't tell him he said this just said, do you remember what you said to me last night. Recently as I have pushed him a bit to suggest we make our relationship 'official' he has backed off. We were meant to go out one night and he said he couldn't make it, so I should I now give him space and leave it to him?Thanks.x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Richard_EMids  +, writes (26 October 2007):
 Hi. Some guys are uneasy about commitment. I was. The problem for you is that you could be waiting
and waiting
and waiting
and..........you get the picture.......for however many years before he decides to confirm your status.
It's not his fault. It's not your fault.
You either wait - or start to move forward with or without him. He might decide you're too good to lose and catch you up. If he doesn't - then I guess you're not meant to be together - but you will meet someone who you are meant to be with. Good luck.
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