A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My problem is with my husbands obsession over what is supposed to be a joint car and it is causing arguments all the time. He has always been a bit possessive over whatever car we have had in the past but I have always been "allowed" to use it to get to and from work, he has a work vehicle to use to commute, the last car did get damaged whilst parked outside of where I work, so with this in mind when we traded it in to get another one, we got an old car as well for me to use on a daily basis with the promise from him that I could use the new car for all other trips, well this is proving not to be the case, he is only happy when it is locked up in our garage at home, if I drive it which isn't very often then he has to be with me and as soon as we get home especially if it has rained on it, then he is cleaning it and leathering it, he tells me off if one of my hairs has dared to fall onto the seat. When it is parked in the integral garage at home he is constantly opening the door to look at it. Now it is getting to the point that he does not want to take it out in the rain at all, so basically a car that I am helping to pay for is going to sit in the garage nearly all winter and I am not allowed to use it, I took it out once on my own and he phoned me on the mobile, he wanted to know where I was, how long was I going to be and am I taking the car straight back home, and when I did get back he checked all around the car to see if there were any marks on it!!!!! He is driving me round the bend, I don't know where he got the idea from that it is his sole possession, but if I try to speak to him about this, he just says oh don't start, you know that I am trying to look after it, I wish I had never helped in getting the car. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2008): I AM THE ORIGINAL POSTERThe car is a Mercedes, not a brand new one, but one that has been very well kept, it is about 3 years old, I am not jealous of how much time he spends with the car, he can polish it to his hearts content, but my gripe is the lies he told me in order to get this car, like it is my car too, so then why can't I use it without his permission or him being with me everywhere I want to go, he will say, wait until I get home, why, I can drive, I can be there and back by the time he gets home, he has taken it that it is totally his car, when it is not, it is a joint owned car, why is he so obssessed with it.
A
female
reader, les  +, writes (14 August 2008):
He's a man and men develop crazy obsessions. My dad is obsessed with computers. He spends his entire weekend taking a computer apart and putting it back together the weekend after and then back to taking it apart again. Its useless, its stupid, but it makes him happy.
My parents are very happily married because my mom goes in the kitchen and does her stuff while he's playing with computer parts and neither of them argue.
Is it really worth stressing him and yourself and marriage over something silly like which car you can or can't use? Perhaps you feel threatened by the car, that he's paying more attention to it than to you, which is a different problem and would stem from other parts of your relationship than the amount of time he spends with the car. In which case, you need to talk to him about the relationship, not the car.
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (14 August 2008):
 Hi,
What make of car is this? I'm afraid you will not solve this. You are on to a loser here. He will not change his ways! He is a guy that checks a car and always will! Use the old car and let him have this new car. Cheer up!!! He loves a car....not another woman!! hannah
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): A TO B transport.
Use the old car. Whats the problem?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008): Maybe he's been watching too many Fiat adverts?
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