A
female
age
,
*orseloverz
writes:i was seeing this gentleman who would always bring up my old boyfriend. He would not let it go. I finally got upset, said that I don't live in the past. I live right now. He said me if I told him I loved him. I could not understand why he kept asking me about him. Bringing him up.I left his house that night, with a feeling that was not comfortable.I haven't heard from this guy since.Why? What did I do wrong? What did I say? Should I have just let him continue on and on?Why do I feel like I have done something wrong?
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female
reader, sarcy24  +, writes (26 February 2008):
 Hi there,
You did absolutely nothing wrong. I actually think you will hear from him again as I think he will realise he has behaved in a pathetic jealous way and then it will be up to you if you want to see him again. He does sound very childish. Be careful he isn't one of those obsessive types that become very clingy. I am 45 and we've all seen life so what does he expect in a woman of our years? He'll be back - its up to you!!
All the best
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): Thank your lucky stars cos i think you have just witnessed a lucky escape. He sounds way too immature for you. You stood up to him and said you didnt want to talk about it, now he asks like that, run dont walk away.
take care
x
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (26 February 2008):
 You didn't do anything wrong. You can't control the lack of maturity in anothers behavior. We at times feel guilty if our past doesn't match what someone else believes "trying to choose the right words" morally sound.
Saying "I love you" to some is more than just words. It's an expression of true feelings, a special and at times overwhelming sensation you get in feeling for another. That's where insecurity comes in. "If she said I love you to him and they're not together, do those words have actual meening or are they just spoken". It's wrong, but some people judge the possible outcome of a relationship or the manner someone behaves, comparing current relationships with current. Instead of treating an individual as an individual they treat the relationship as a relationship, and don't take into account the person they're sharing the experience with is different than the person in the past.
I'd let this one go. It seems as if he's wanting you to validate that the past won't repeat, by requiring your validation to fill a void in him that's causing these destructive beliefs.
Take care.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (26 February 2008):
 hi there,
sorry to say but looks like you went out with a dud there.
These guys seem to be everywhere, I dont know what causes it but we see so many posts on here with these pathetic insecure men driving their partners crazy talking about ex lovers. Sheesh, put it down to experience and let him drive some other poor girl up the wall. Life is too short to be dealing with this rubbish.
Good luck, and p.s. you know the answer to your question as you have a lot of sense, so that's why you didnt let him go on and on. As you are 40+ if he thinks that a woman isn't going to have a healthy sexual history at this age then who is he kidding?
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