A
female
age
30-35,
*reybutterfly
writes:Are we in love, me and my best friend ?He is my best friend, I consider him the male version of me, he says the same about me being the female version of him, we know that's true and it's obvious to anyone who sees us together, always suspecting we are a couple but the truth we are not, he talks to me about his relationships, I'm the only one who knows everything about him, his thoughts, his loves, this girl then when he got so close to her now he doesn't know what he wants, he is depressed and doesn't want to hurt her, I'm the same thing with relationships, I thought I'm in love before but I wasn't, yesterday for the first time of our live he asked me, "Have you ever thought about what if, in the end we found ourselves in love and got married" ?I was shocked because of the timing because he is kind of talking to this girl right now, but he knows of course I thought about it, we think the same way , I said that yes I thought of this but I'm not sure how is this going to end . we talked about finding the real thing, no one of us has found the real thing we are both searching for, now I'm thinking what if ... what do you think ? I fear losing him as my best friend and we both admitted After that conversation we felt sick to our stomachs,we were treating each other like brother and sister but since the thought of something more has crossed both of our minds, then are we really like that, can you tell me your honest opinion please?
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female
reader, SweetSmoochy  +, writes (15 March 2011):
 Some of the strongest relationships have stemmed from friendship. That is how it is with my boyfriend and I, as well as my parents (26 years together and still acting like newlyweds)
Just set te standard as "friends first" always. If neither one of you wants to jeopardize the friendship, then agree to keep that part strong, whether or not you two are dating.
I would also reccommend letting a marriage level kind of love grow gradually. Even though you two have known each other for a long time, take a romantic relationship slow so that it grows the right way. Friendship is a strong seed to a strong relationship, but not an instant soulmate.
Best of Luck
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (15 March 2011):
 There are couples who started out as best friends. The next step is to figure out if there's sexual chemistry. That's the thing that distinguishes you from brothers and sisters, and lovers. If I were you I would feel betrayed that he took that long to consider me as girlfriend. You think you know everything about him but you only know what he's comfortable showing you. It's good to have some distance and privacy to yourselves as that adds to a sense of mystery. He mentions long term because he feels that you are a safe choice. What happened to that girl he got close to? I don't know what he meant by saying not wanting to hurt her. It feels like to me that if other girls that he fancies don't love him back, then he would consider you. Not the most romantic proposal at all.
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