A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Question for the boys! I have been seeing a guy from work for a few months. He asked me out and told me he has had a crush on me for years but we were never single at the same time. Since we started dating we have a great time, and are kicking ourselves for not getting together sooner. But now he is moving to London for a new job. Its not a million miles away so I thought we could keep seeing eachother and maybe eventually I would move over. He told me abut the move last week when we were out for a drink, we were both quite upset but had a great nite out and met up with some friends so didnt really discuss the move in detail.Since then I have barely heard from him apart from a few texts. We work in different departments so our paths dont cross very often in work. I know he has alot to sort out before he leaves but am i wrong in thinking he is just letting things fizzle out before he leaves? I dont want to pile pressure on him but I texted him and asked him out for a drink, he said he is too busy right now but will give me a shout when he has some free time. Should I just let him go?? Its breaking my heart
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (19 August 2007):
Im a girl but thought I would give you my opinion anyway :)
He could honestly be very busy, but its just the timing of when he suddenly got busy is a bit suss. However personally, no matter HOW busy I get with whatever is going on in my life I always make the effort to contact my bf each day, whether it just be a text message asking how his day was or a phone call, email...whatever. However not evryone is like that.
I would imagine he is VERY confused about where your relationship is going to go when he moves away. Perhaps he is saying he is busy to buy sme time so he can think about what he wants to do before talking to you about it...
He could be like many people, they try to avoid any issues in life. How has he been in the past? Have you two faced any sort of issues before? How has he dealt wiht them? Has he tackled them head on? This may give you an indicated of whats going on at the moment.
Its hard when people dont want to talk about issues, especially for females because we seem to like to talk about thigns, where as guys typically dont. I think you have the right to talk to him about him moving, whether he wants to or not. You deserve to know whats going on in his mind and where hes at. Why dont you just call him and talk to him about it over the phone? Surely he could spare 30 mins or however long to talk on the phone after work one day?
Tell him you really feel you both shoudl discuss his move and see what he says....
A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous  +, writes (18 August 2007):
It might just be that he is really busy, yet if you are that important to him, it would be nice for him to call. However, I think you are right that he is trying to let it fizzle out, but he is probably doing it because it might seem easier to let things trail off that way than see your crying face if he tells you it has to end.
If you really think this is potentially "the one," then try it out. Tell him you are willing to do the distance thing and maybe even offer to help him sort things out before he leaves. If he says that it cannot work, it may hurt, but at least you get closure on this situation and you can move on.
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