A
female
age
41-50,
*ragonfly
writes:Ok here is the story... I meet this guy when I was in a bad marriage. A few days after meeting him, I finally got the courage up to file for divorce. Realizing without a current job it was not worth being miserable anymore.I started dating him and countless others, but he was the one that I always went back to. July of last year I sold my house and decided to reward myself with a cruise with my bestfriend to celebrate how I was never going to leave in a box again. Like my x-husband treated me.That same month we went exclusive only dating each other. And we were together everyday and night. I told him I booked a cruise with my bestfriend and told him it was a scrapbooking cruise which it was and he had no desire to go with me. Even though I asked repeatedly.He had also mentioned to me that he had been invited to go with his friends the this spring on a cruise. Now that the time is getting close he has accepted to go on the cruise but failed to ask me to go.When I spoke to him about this a few nights ago he stated I could go. Then when I started thinking about it I thought maybe he had already purchased his ticket. So I spoke with him about it last night and he got upset with me saying I went on a cruise with out him. And that I could go on another with out him and he wouldn't care. This is something he had been planning for over a year.I told him what would be the harm of us going together. He said he was going with his best friend and spliting the costs. I told him there are other people to go and that I could go and get my own room. Oh did I mention his best friend is a girl that used to have a crush on him?He tells me there is nothing between him, I believe him. But I think she thinks she may still be able to win him. Maybe I am being jealous.But I always thought if you are in a relationship that you take your significant other with you when you go on vacation. That was my argument. He then said he wouldn't go. He didn't want to hear about it for the 2 months before and months after he got back. I told him to go becasue I don't want to be the one to blame that he didn't go.Any suggestions on how to handle this would be great.
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best friend, crush, divorce, jealous, no desire Reply to this Question
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female
reader, melschatbox +, writes (19 January 2007):
 Oh, man... he's not sounding very grown up to me. The ole "I don't want to hear you yap about it for the rest of my life..thing bugs me!" Either he respects your feelings about being his S.O. or he doesn't. This is only one hurdle you two will face together. New relationships always have to push the boundaries to see where the line is drawn. It's ashame we don't just know right off. But, I do agree with you..his taking a BEST FRIEND girl with him on a cruise..spells trouble to me. And, not only on the cruise but your relationship afterwards. There's going to be a pissin' contest between you 2 girls over his attention. Hope you figure this out. Good Luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): OH my heck. *Rubs temples*
Why would he do this to you and himself?
You aren't being demanding or unrealistic or even thoughtless of his feelings.
You invited him and he made the choice to exclude himself.
You should have been invited and you should have the oppurtunity to exclude yourself.
That whole...you went on one without him does not justify him going without you and with another woman.
Yes raise an eyebrow.
That he is so dead set against you coming...raise an eyebrow.
Have time to squeeze in a couples counsellor?
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