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age
41-50,
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writes: I am in a relationship that i do not understand.I have a boyfriend but he is denying that he is my boyfriend because he has a girlfriend before me and they are still together. I have slept with him and i love him but he refuses to tell me how he feels about me. I do not understand why. He said that it is more than just sex to him but when i ask him what it is he refuses to answer.He actively pursued me when he was with his girlfriend and told me he was unhappy with her but still he won't leave her. One of the times we had sex he suggested it to be in a hotel and we spend the night which we did and that's what made he think that he is in love with me too. I am really confused. He won't tell me his intentions... is he using me for sex. note he is not sleeping with his gf because of her religion? should i leave him? should i tell the other girl what he is up too?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2009): Hiya. Yes leave him...if you can leave someone you arent actualy with. Hes just using you as his bit on the side and repeating love talk from the players famous handbook....The Book Of Bollox... when hes under pressure to keep you sweet. You say he isnt having sex with his girlfriend because of religion. So you are just taking her place in that department until he can make love to her, probably on their wedding night....which will be very special to them because they waited!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): What demonstrates that you and he are anything at all?
Having sex with him does not make you anything to him but a fuck buddy behind his GF's back. You didn't mention anything else you have with him other than that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2009): I totally agree with Tisha-1 that he IS using you. He just takes you for granted and nothing else. Leave him. Leave the player.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (10 December 2009):
 I'm sorry, did you write that he does not think of himself as your boyfriend? And that he has a girlfriend? Should you leave him? Yes. Should you tell her? No, I think that's just being hurtful because you are being hurt.
You two are not in a relationship, to his way of thinking, so yes, it is just for sex for him. Spending the night with you doesn't mean that he loves you, it means that he wanted to spend the night with you.
You are not looking at this clearly, I'm worried for you because the fantasy thinking is so profound.
You are the 'other woman.' You are the one he sleeps with on the side, so he has a sexual outlet somewhere. I'll bet you are not the first, nor are you likely to be the only one.
It might be a bit more than sex to him, but it's not enough for him to leave her, tell you he loves you and tell you that he is with you now.
You are being used and you are allowing it to happen. Wake up, get smart! Oh, I hate to mention this but I would be remiss if I didn't, you have to go get checked for STDs. This kind of guy plays around and may have something he's passed on to you.
Please take better care of yourself, okay?
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