A
female
age
30-35,
*zuri
writes:Hello everyone, I'm a college junior who could use a helping hand in relationships. I've only had one boyfriend and I was a freshman when I met him. We were so happy being together our first year, but when sophomore year came around I felt myself outgrowing him. He was always joking around and never seemed to take life seriously. Ultimately, his behavior led him to academic probation and he was out of school for a year. This time was very hard for me because there was this emotional baggage that I couldn't handle and we eventually broke up. However, my real problem is with my Ex's older brother. When I first came to college he was the first person I was attracted to. He was courteous, a gentleman, funny, and a great leader. He was everything that I wanted in a man, but he was taken. I didn't think much of it, but I still had a crush on him when I was dating his brother. Now that the older brother is single I can't get him out of my mind, but I know that his ex-girlfriend loves him and really wants to get back together. I wouldn't dare snatch him away because we are such good friends and she was a good woman to him. I want to forget him because I later found that with all his good qualities he had one really bad one--infidelity. Even with this at the back of my mind I still get butterflies. I could see his car and get butterflies! I just want to move on, but he is always there. I definitely appreciate any advice anyone can give me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Uzuri +, writes (27 September 2010):
Uzuri is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do appreciate the help and I do think that I'll just tell him how I feel. I really don't want to hold it in anymore. BTW, his ex really was a good honest girl. She never cheated on him or anything. They broke up because he needed to work on himself and being faithful. I'm just worried that if anything ever did happen between us that it would ruin my relationships with people that I know. We have a lot of mutual friends and she is a big reason in how I know a lot of the people I do now. But thank u so much...I really do appreciate it :)
A
female
reader, StephJayne  +, writes (27 September 2010):
 Well, in my opinion, if kind of sounds like it may be more than a crush. If you know him, and get butterflies every time you see him or his car, then it does sound that you have more than a crush on him.
If he and his ex girlfriend are not together, then there is nothing stopping you from telling him or showing that you really like him. As far as you know is he is single, he's not in a relationship, not seeing anyone, so any girl that liked him could tell him - including you :)
If she still loves him, then it's up to him if he takes her back, because she could have done something bad to him that he could never forgive her for? Even if she was a great woman to him, there could be something bad that she has done, or he just simply doesn't lover her anymore.
I wouldn't retract for telling him how you feel, because this could be your only chance. You wouldn't be snatching him away from her. Because, like I said before, he's single.
If he has really good qualities then he will be a good boyfriend, lover, or husband. If he treated his other girlfriend(s) good, then there isn't anything stopping him from treating you good.
My boyfriend has had LOADS of ex's before me. And he was honest and faithful to all of them, but every single one either dumped him for no reason, or because they were bored, or because they lied to him, or they would always cheat on him, one way or another :/.
But now he's with me, he knows he hasn't got any of that to worry about because I'm never going to cheat on him, get bored of him or lie to him.
Even though this may sound cheesy - Follow your heart :) If it says to go for it, because tbh, you really have NOTHING to lose :) You're telling him just how you feel which is being honest as a friend, and faithful :).
I hope I helped x
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