A
female
age
36-40,
*hoenix85
writes:i dont know where to start.i love my bf and he used to love me madly.i said i used to couse he changed in a strange way lately.after living 4 months together our relation has to turn in to long distance relation just for 3 months.we passed 2 months behind,1 month later i will be back next to him.anyway we broke up many times before but not really,we were both aware that we can not break up.begening of the relation he was madly jelous and i wasnt at all,but now things changed i become overlly jelous and it seemed like he is not jelous in a crayz way anymore.last night i called him and heard some girl sound,he said it s just tv.but my gut feelings told me that he was lieing.after i hang up the phone i text him as "enjoy ur food with the bitch next to u and forget my name forever" in the morning he reply as"i m tired of explaining the same things to u.if u dont believe me i m sorry.and if u need to break up with me dont try to fight with me ok?do what u want and how u want."i reply as "thats not what i want,thats what u want and i m giving u what u want.my love made me a sick women and u dont care about it at all,u dont care if i m in ur life or not."it has been 6 hours he didnt response.i know i sound like 15 years old bu this time in my life i m so hopless,desperate..i give up many things for him,he became the only thing i have but now i m loosing him.what should i do?please i m on medication i m loosing my mind.
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broke up, long distance, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (12 November 2008):
 There is no reason you can't contact him, as long as you don't moan and complain. Tell him you're sorry for being "off" with him the last few times, you just had a bad day but you're great now, you just miss him, then go on to tell him about your day. Let him SEE that you can still function perfectly well without him and that you don't "need" him all the time. Telling him that is instantly putting pressure on him so just lighten up a bit with him. That way he'll look forward to getting your phone calls/texts instead of dreading them and wondering what you're upset at next.
~Eve~
A
female
reader, phoenix85 +, writes (12 November 2008):
phoenix85 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to all of you for ur supportive responses.i guess i should just wait him to contact with me.becouse if i do,it will make me look more needy.which i guess i already cross that line:)however waiting will be hurting me too much but i guess it s the only thing i can do right now,at least for a while:)what do u think?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2008): okay, for one thing, you need to stop thinking that he's the only thing you have. That will just make you feel even more insecure. You need to start focusing on what makes you happy and forget about what he might be doing. You have to try to trust him and stop feeling so paranoid cuz that will only push him away. Remember that love is taking risks? You do the best you can for the relationship to survive, and if it doesn't work out, it isn't you and you will move on. I know it's easier said than done, but you have to be positive and give out a positive aura so that he WANTS to spend time with you and be with you.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (11 November 2008):
The way you're going on right now is only going to push him further away from you. You need to TRUST him more! Give him the benefit of the doubt, I'm sure he's missing you too and is looking forward to getting back again. The way you're acting just now just makes you seem desperate and needy and of course jealous. Cut him some slack, apologise for the texts and tell him you just had a bad day yesterday and look forward to him getting home again.
There is no bigger turn off for a guy than a woman who comes across as needy and jealous. Be more assertive and get out and enjoy yourself. Before you know it he'll be home again!
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): Jealousy can be very destructive,I wonder why you seemed tgo like it when he was jealous?If he is the only thing in your life then you need to find some new people and interests as it's too much to expect one person to make your life for you.You might benefit from some counselling and could ask your doctor to refer you.
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A
male
reader, the one who doesn't know  +, writes (11 November 2008):
 you could beg him to come back you. and sorry for what i'm going to say next. but that' would hurt your pride. don't try to deny it, everybody's got pride. and pride is what makes still be free persons and not slaves of another. besides that i have nothing else to say, on a simple, active way of course there are those BIG schemes, but those don't usually work, do they?
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