A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I met this guy who is confused about what he wants. He was with a guy and they broke up now he is with a girl. Lately we stated talking and I am getting the vibe that he likes me. He likes to touch me a lot when he is talking to me. Unfortunately, he is a big believer in Christianity.He mentioned that he was a Republican. He stated how much he does not support Obama. I myself am a huge Democrat and support Obama a lot.I need to find out if he is against gay marriage or not. There is no point in trying to figuring out if he likes me, if he is against gay marriage because we would have no future. I want to get married someday.Given that he is a Christian and a Republican, I'm pretty sure is against gay marriage.Is there a way to casually find out if he supports gay marriage with asking him directly? I don't want to make things uncomfortable for him. How can I find out if he is for gay marriage or not?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your answers! It turns out he is Not against gay marriage, he classifies himself as a Libertarian. He stated that he supports gay marriage because he is gay.Apparently, I miss understood him. He does not and never did have a girlfriend. He asked me out, we are going out next weekend!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2012): Just ask him. Seriously if this is a question that he gets uncomfortable answering then a relationship isn't exactly on the cards OP. If he's not against it, it's an easy answer isn't it?
I find it very strange how Americans identify themselves politically, it's a huge source of division and you've actually made that kind of thing a core belief, a religion.
Here personal politics doesn't matter a damn, some people think it's important but like religion most people couldn't give a crap. One rich guy telling us what to do is the same as the next, life goes on.
I don't know how you think gay marriage is the main issue here OP. Finding out whether he's for or against it is not going to mean you will be in any way compatible.
I without doubt would not be compatible with an American republican, I've known a few and they're batshit crazy. Creationism, warmongering, fear-filled bullshit rhetoric with no factual basis behind anything they say? No thanks. A bunch of judgemental assholes and the very reason the rest of the world thinks you're all fat idiots.
My point is OP maybe your political differences are too profound, such differences may seem menial now in the fun stage of things but when you hold polar opposite beliefs so dear then I don't see how that can work.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (30 September 2012):
 FYI: Being a Christian does not make things"unfortunate". And if he is a Christian, you can be pretty sure he's against gay marriages. The Bible makes specific references to homosexuality being an "abomination to God". That scripture implies that people are not just "born that way" but that it is another form of "lust" kind of like, being attracted to blondes, or african americans, or underage girls, or animals. It just happens to be that this particular type of lust is an abominations....that and beastiality. In society, we all pretty much feel that men who prey on underage girls are an abomination but that's another story entirely. Therefore I don't think this guy is your type. You have nothing in common. Not beliefs, not political views, and perhaps not sexual preferences either.
Just because you're attracted to him, does not mean the feelings are mutual. Maybe he's just being nice? I would not spend anymore time thinking about this man. He has a much higher agenda.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (30 September 2012):
You could ask him in private why he doesn't support Obama. It could be that he is fiscally conservative, but a little more liberal in his political views when it comes to specific social issues like gay marriage and equality.
If he knows you are gay, you could just bring up the topic of wanting to be married one day and ask him how he feels about gay marriage. Do not be surprised if he tells you something along the lines of being for 'domestic partnerships,' but against gay marriage.
Right now, this young man is likely very confused. He is Republican and Christian. Religion and political views tend to be something that a person is exposed to from infancy. He has probably grown up in a home where he was told homosexuality was a sin, an abomination, and wrong. And, yet, he has feelings for other men. If he truly is gay or bisexual and not just curious, he will probably struggle with accepting himself for a long time. There is a possibility that he will present himself as straight to the outside world. This includes reciting things that he doesn't necessarily believe simply because it is the response that is expected from a seemingly straight, young, Christian, republican man.
The only way to find out what he really believes is to get to know him better so he trusts you enough to share his true thoughtts and feelings.
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