A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i am having doubts about a long term relationship with my boyfriend. I love him so much but he is a bad diabetic. I am afraid of what is ahead for us and his illness and if i can cope with it. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): Does he have type 1 or type 2 diabetes?
Teenage diabetics particularly type 1 have usually had a hard time at school, a lot of them get bullied for having to inject themselves and as a consequence they grow up to reject that they have a condition and thus they become bad diabetics. Just because he is a bad diabetic now does not mean he is going to suffer serious medical problems. My ex-girlfriend is a type-1 diabetic and she used to handle her diabetes very bad but now (shes 28) she is responsible and tries to keep herself healthy. Obviously diabetes type 1 is a serious condition. You are likely to die younger and suffer from other health problems but treatment these days has advanced so, so much, there could even be a cure when your boyfriend is older.
I do kind of know where you're coming from, some people just can't deal with having to "care" for someone in this way making sure they are OK. I've been in some situations where she had gone low and had to look after her... so you really need to get to know the basics of diabetes so you can react if he has a low or high blood sugar level.
If you love him then it would be a shame for you to leave him for this condition - you might meet someone in perfect health who is run over and hit by a car tomorrow... or maybe someone who develops a degenerative disease which is far worse than diabetes..
Encourage him to be a more responsible diabetic but remember there are reasons for why he is not being sensible; denial - feeling of being different - wanting to be like everyone else. So bare these things in mind when you are helping him. All the best :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): Sweety, I totally understand your concerns as I have many members of my family who live with diabetes and they are healthy, vibrant people with very little effects but thewy do really, really do keep a wactchful eye for problems and they stay very healthy. I won't beat around the bush though, without proper daily management, medical emergencies can arise with diabetics. What you need to do, is look seriously at how responsible your bf is for taking care of his own health. Does he stay on track with his diet, take his insulin, watch his weight,self-monitor his blood glucose levels, exercise and seem conscientious of really, really looking after himself? Does he abstain from drinking, smoking, etc, etc? If he's a 'bad' diabetic as you put it, then he's likely been taught over the years, what he can and cannot do. He knows his limits. Hopefully, he is looking out for his own health and thinking of the long range implications. If he's feeling invincible and not heeding his health, I can't blame you for voicing your concerns. If he's not, he could run into complications, because there are a 'whack of complications' that could arise. But you need to talk to him openly and truthfully about all this. If he's looking after himself and being responsible...then don't worry. But my suggestion is communicate your concerns to him. Talk about this. Like the below Aunts suggested, do some research on your own to learn more about Diabetes. Get him to help you become more informed. Learning more may help ease your worries. Stay strong, hun and good luck!
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A
male
reader, Damo  +, writes (28 January 2007):
you'll get through things, dont worry. Most importantly though, you'll get through things with him. As long as you both have a full understanding of what Diabeties is. Get on the web, chat with him and try doing a bit of research so that you can understand his condition as well as he does and you will both be fine.
One final thing; If you both love each other, then his condition will not come between the two of you whatsoever.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): chances are your boyfriend has been dealing with this for years already and has it totally under control. Its no different to when you first got together, nothings changed. if your concerned that you wont know what to do if he becomes ill ask him to explain things to you and have an action plan so you know what signs to look for if he's having problems and how to deal with them.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (28 January 2007):
 Diabetes is totally treatable. I don't think it's a good reason not to be with someone. Do your research and you'll probably feel better about it.
CD
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