A
male
age
36-40,
*iesel185
writes:My partner is 27 and i'm 21. Is it wrong to feel wanted? When i'm with my partner i want to be held and kissed and shown that i'm wanted but instead i always have to make the first move asking him to hold me or kiss me.i know this sounds crazyHe tells me he loves me and i love him, so why isn't that enough for me? I said to him I'm the kind of person that needs a lot of affection, and he says he doesnt ... if i say black he says white! He doesn't initiate sex and its always me. He does have alot on his mind but so do i. Its really starting to wear me down.I'm leaving the country in 3 and we'l be apart till November but we've said we'l make it work no matter how hard it gets.buyt it always comes back to me not feeling wanted ... i cant leave him because of this because i love him with all my heart. We talk like were so lucky we've found each other because we've never felt like this before .... but am i wrong to wanting to feel wanteed, or do i just accept that because we love each other??? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): If he's never felt like this before, then all i expect for him is to show you affection and you shouldnt be the only one initiating it!
Unfortunately my dear actions speak louder than words, its not what people say it also what they do that counts as you will find out when you get a little older.
Romance King
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2007): I can second that. I too know just how you feel. I am a 22 year old girl and my partner of 3 1/2 years is 32. He loves me to bits, and I know that he wants to be with me forever. And likewise, I know that I want to be with him forever. But I am sitting here today, feeling so low, because I never get the affection or emotions returned to me. I cuddle, I snuggle, I grab his hand to hold if we are out, I'll walk up behind him when he is cooking and wrap my arms around him and whisper in his ear how much I love him. He resonds if I have said something. But (I have tested this out) if I don't give him any attention or affection, words or touch for weeks, he doesn't seem to notice and still doesn't give me that.
It is just so hard sometimes being the only one who shows their emotions in a relationship. My man has told me that he has never been able to show his emotions. I am the absolute opposite. I guess sometimes I smother him.
My only advise is that you have to think things through. Talk to him. I have talked to my man on many occasions, and after a few arguments, he does end up listening to me. Tell him how much you need to see that he loves you. As you say, he tells you he loves you but I know myself that its not enough sometimes. Ask him to try really hard to suprise you with affection sometimes. When you are just sitting reading a book, he could just kneel infront of you, tell you how he is feeling, and kiss you. I'm sure he just doesn't realise just how much you crave his affection.
It's just one of those things in life, some of us don't need the physical emotional side in life, and some of us would die without it. If you love him, and he truely loves you, he WILL try his best to change his ways to make you happy. Even just a little at a time.
Best of luck.. xxx
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A
female
reader, xLEAHx +, writes (28 January 2007):
 No your not wrong to feel wanted i can totally relate to this,i know just how you feel when all you want is love and affection and you give but never recieve..iv had it for years and yes it does wear you down and it does come to a point where you just give up and become very unhappy..if the other person is not that way inclined and the attention and affection doesn't bother them ,then they won't change thier ways,you say your going away and will be apart wel maybe this will do you both good,it might make him realise what his missing and also give you time to figure out what you really want..at the end of the day theres no point in being in a relationship where your unhappy and the other person is not making a go of things..
xLEAHx
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