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female
,
anonymous
writes: hi, im hoping i can solve this. i am seeing a very hot guy..we are sleeping togther. im a 27 yr old female and he is 22 years old. We were good family friends and i had no idea he liked me. Until sometime later he told me. It wasnt until one night at his house, he kissed me n things steamed up from thre..he is very good, knows how to kiss me and the foreplay is exciting as. But thre is only one problem, when he enters me, i cannot quite enjoy him as he just keeps going at it. He has so much energy and when he starts to hurt me, i hve to literally him to stop. I even cried once becos he wudnt listen to me and i felt used. later in the night he said sorry and told me he felt bad he acted like that. so now when ever i sleep with him, im not very comfortable with him . how can i change this feeling?? i hve to comfortable with him first. How can i tell him?? i had an older boyfriend b4 but i never used to feel this much pain.he told he gets jealous when other guys hve tried to propose to me. im single and he knows this. is it becos he is jealous, his luvmaking shows it???
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female
reader, Hunny Bunny +, writes (6 April 2006):
Ohh honey. you need to put the cards on the table with this one an tell him exactly whats right an wrong. For example its wrong to carry on havin sex with you wen you have said No. If hes making you cry when your both suppost to be having an imtimate moment an just ignoring you maybe you should move on. He doesnt sound like hes taking any notice of you what so ever. But if you want to carry on an make a go of this realationship i recommend you tell him that he starts to hurt you if you have sex for to long an that you have started to feel uncomfatable wen you have sex because if it all.You both need to sit down an have a heart to heart if hes wants to be with you he sholud respect your wishes, if hes doesnt honey well then i would leave.
A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (6 April 2006):
 Whoa... A boyfriend who continues to have sex with you when you've asked him to stop, and who continues to bang away, HURTING YOU, until you *cry*... is a boyfriend you _run_ _away_ _from_.
You don't need to change your feelings. Your feelings are correct and good. The reason that you don't feel comfortable having sex with him is because he doesn't give a hoot about your enjoyment or pleasure. He probably doesn't care if he hurts you. It's all about HIM. You know this, but you won't admit it to yourself. Why won't you?
The other red flag is the the 'jealousy' issue. Unless you two have been together for quite some time and/or talked about exclusivity together he shouldn't assume that you're his sole possession, and he really doesn't have any reason to demonstrate jealousy, even if he might feel it.
It sounds dangerously to me like he's taking advantage of a little bit of innocence on your part, and trying to pressure you into an exclusive arrangement with him. Then, ironically, he's a callous and insensitive lover, with a worrying tendency to selfishness (if not outright sadism).
I'd be very, very afraid.
Personally, I don't see anything here that screams out, "He's a keeper". Quite the opposite, really. If you're looking for an older guy, who just wants to root you, and who'll completely ignore you during sex, then who'll act like your "owner" rather than an equal... well, you've found him.
But if it were me, you wouldn't see me for dust. This guy's bad news.
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