A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with this man for 5 yrs, living with him for the last 2 1/2. We got engaged a yr ago, and we broke off the engagement due to a huge argument. We've been trying to work things out the last few months but have had lots of ups and downs. Several weeks ago he told me he couldn't take it anymore and it was really over. He went out with his friends that same night. A couple weeks ago he said he wanted to try again, and the last couple of weeks have been wonderful. We've really been trying! Last night I asked him if he had done anything with anyone else during this troubled period. (If we were recommitting i wanted to make sure i knew all the details i was getting into). He said no. Then 5 min later he admitted to hooking up with a girl that same night he broke up with me. I was devastated. I hadn't really expected him to have done anything! Esp only hours after breaking things off with me! But I was hurt most that he hadn't told me about it when he said he wanted to get back together. I can understand that we were technically "broken up" (even if it was for just a few hours) and that it wasn't technically "cheating." But the fact that he could come back to me as if nothing had happened disturbs me. Should i be worried that this means he could be a cheater in the future? If someone can hook up with a stranger the same night as breaking up with you, does that mean that person can cheat on you just as easily?
View related questions:
broke up, engaged, get back together, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): A few hours after a fight if he can go to a girl that means even in future if you have a major agruement he can opt for other girl. It's sheer cheating... all people above are telling you the importance of 5 years, does your bf have importance of you in 5 years?? If yes then he wouldn't have slept with another girl. As honesty and truth are the base of any relationship. He's not done a favour on you by telling the truth he shud have told you first only and left you to make the decision whether you want to take him back. I would just dump him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): nope. You cannot assume that. It's not the same as cheating so don't think that. You two were broken up. And you are concentrating on why he didn't tell you sooner, instead of realizing that, at least he told you.
As to why he did it on the same night, pain and sadness are not things we men are capable with or even able to handle that well. Far easier to lose ourselves in a night of lust. Then, I'm sure afterward he realized how empty and hollow the act actually was. Hence getting back with you.
I'd bet...you are substance to him, you are home
And honestly, if he had told you he hooked up with someone the night you broke up, RIGHT when he was trying to get back with you, I mean that wouldn't have worked. Seriously.
...............................
|
