A
female
age
36-40,
*xsara88xx
writes:He hit me several times but I cheated on him once.Whats worse ?? I cheated on him first month we got together and i continued to like the same guy for 3 months while i was with him. He forgave me and we stayed together. We've been together for 1 year and a half now . we have lived together for 5 months now.. things been good and bad.. no relationship is perfect i guess. but i truly love him. i never cheated on him again ever. he was an extremely jealous person at the start .. but he has hit me about 4-5 times since we've been together.. just 4 days ago he hit me because i couldn't stop shouting at him. I know i should leave him because i don't want to dissapoint my friends. but we have such great times together. !! when we do..we are extremly cute.. but when we fight.. we are like fire. i don't understand.. ! i'm lost and confused.should we go counselling?.
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female
reader, celtic_tiger  +, writes (11 May 2009):
 I agree with Armymedic.
I DO NOT condone violence OR cheating within a relationship. If one or other of these happens, it shows that there is a lack of respect on either side.
YOU didnt love him/respect him enough as you cheated,
HE doesnt respect you as he hits you.
I would like to bring up this comment you made;
"just 4 days ago he hit me because i couldn't stop shouting at him. "
Why couldnt you stop shouting at him? People are always quick to judge the man for hitting, but they forget that men often suffer other types of abuse themselves, such as verbal and emotional abuse. But because they are men, it doesnt seem to be taken as such a problem. If you regularly shout like this, it could be considered verbal abuse - which is just as bad as violence itself. Just a point to consider to make this a valid, equal discussion.
You are not right for each other, that is plain to see and you do need to grow up and realise that this is not normal in a loving relationship.
You need to think about your own actions in future relationships, and maybe learn to control your temper, and TALK to your partner, rather than shouting.
A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (11 May 2009):
 You don't need counselling, you need to break up, you are as bad as each other and both need to move on and grow up!
"no relationship is perfect i guess." Violence and cheating isn't what is considered "normal" ups and downs, it's not like you have had a minor disagreement over what colour you want to paint the bed room!
Leave him, and find someone you love that you will stay faithful too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2009): come on you really dont belong together, and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD the very second a man hits you, leave.
End of story,
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A
female
reader, Karing Kris +, writes (11 May 2009):
 There is no reason why you cant have the perfect relationship!
I understand you have learned from your mistake and you probably do love him or feel you have to love him. Two very different things. Your disrespecting yourself by allowing him to hit you, being a woman is one of the best gifts someone can have and i think one day you will realise this for yourself. You also shouldn't leave him because of your friends!
I don't think your right for each other and he shouldn't even be blessed with your time of day because he obviously doesn't feel the same way about you. But you have to do this for yourself not ANYONE else!!!
What you have to do is think, What Do I Want For Myself? and 99 out of 100 the answer is always to be HAPPY. And if you were happy with the way things are going would you have written on here? Good luck k k xx
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality  +, writes (11 May 2009):
 Im sorry, but neither of you are mature enough to be in any type of relationship. You are a cheater, and he is an woman beater. Both behaviors scream that this relationship is Dead on Arrival.
You don't love him if you cheated on him. He cant possibly love you if he hits you.
You need to stay away from any type of relationship until you grow up.
Sorry to be blunt, but I think rather than it being something you WANT to hear, it is something you NEED to hear
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