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He hasn't changed his profile to say he's with me,yet I can't forget him.

Tagged as: Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 March 2011) 10 Answers - (Newest, 9 September 2011)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

It's a long story. So anyways. I met some guy on bearwww (a gay bear site) almost year ago. Things went well but with one seemly minor slip up. I didn't talk to him months and ignored him. He came back and things were fine until last month.

He has said he was with someone but there was no proof of that other then his word. He didn't change anything to his profile other then dirty pics of himself on bearwww but no changes to his Facebook. I hook up with him a few times. The last time he hook up with me he was overtly affectionate with me. He was asking about my plans and things in my room and he wanted have the lighting be more intimate with me.Yet nothing had changed except he told me that "we're just friends" yet still haven't change his profile to let other people know he seeing someone else.Yet I feel like I can't bseem to forget him if I try.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011):

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I kinda realize that maybe this guy wants me more then I want want him. I think some people do crazy things out of fear of rejection and end up doing the same thing they were trying to avoid. I figured maybe his heart isn't at the right place yet but still wants to choose me since of all the jealousy that I can sense from him a mile away when I try to move on. I figure that if he wants me, I have to let him come to me on his own terms, I can't expect him to fall for me any other way then he's being the most comfortable or willing to. I had no have my expectation of him be too high.

I kinda realize that rift with him was gonna happened anyways that I just made it seem that it bothered me when it didn't. Plus nothing seem to surprise me more these days.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2011):

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I kinda realize maybe long-term relationship with one guy aren't my thing (yet). I should've mention that time I wasn't speaking to him,I was seeing someone else in process. I wasn't "offical" with him at that time. I kinda realize I just wanted my cake and eat it with guys just any gay/bi guy would at any point not ready to commit to one person yet. Here I realize what trying to commit myself to one guy just to appease my parents who still live the concept of "monogamy". So I realize still want this guy and some cases he may still want me either for just sex or fill in between relationships just as much as I wanted to do the same with him or possible more. So in the end I kinda realize maybe if I just gotten my parents off my back about everything with dating in first place,I probably wouldn't have these problems of having to choose someone for long-term when I just want what I want.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2011):

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I should let you people know that I'm starting to move from him.I 'm starting to see someone else. I keep sensing hints of jealousy with this guy because everytime I hint on moving on and not a moment later he post more pics of himself. When I notice those new pics it's never with anyone but him. I notice he was trying use certain people as a pathetic attempt to make me jealous somehow,but he has no clue that I was playing him back equally or greater force just because he chose this instead of just telling me how he feels and what he wants.So you tell me. Should keep going with some boring and stable person or some difficult and exciting person,when I all I want someone balanced.But no one prefect and "perfect" relationships are just make believe.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2011):

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I should add that He might miss me on the count of that missed all the attention I gave him whether or not it's wanted on his part. Who knows maybe,He and I could settle our difference as adults later on in future if he wanted to have more with me instead acting all in denial of it. And for him to be straightforward and forthcoming with me. I can't except every single one of them be that so I have settle to guys who willing to negotiate later on when dust settles. Also for me to state clearly with guys on what the relationship is when it's developing stages.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2011):

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The funny thing,I realize with that had serve his purpose for to get over another guy years before.The one before I couldn't figure him in time because they were too many people that got in the way.Some people percieve things alot differently one person could see it as advice giving while another could see it as meddling.So people should learn to accept that sorta thing. As for that guy,I think maybe right now,I have to stay clear from him for now,he welcome to come back but it's only gonna for sex even if he wanted more with me,because he demonstrated he can't open up to me and tell the truth.The funny thing is guys will come back to mr because I bruise their ego in someway that leave crawling back like a baby. I'm only mean to them when they were mean to me.But in some cases I was able make clean breaks from them painlessly,others were I want nothing to do with never seem to go away.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011):

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I should mention that first thing he did when he got out of cae was that hugged but hugged kinda tight.Before he left he was so sad that he didn't want to leave that he almost cried. He did hugged me once after he got out of his car when we had a night in. For me gave a habit of leaving things out. If I mention that you whomever that responded to my question,would you say the same thing ,right? I realize I had to give guys space to figure me out because I'm hard to read they have hard time telling me that they want to step back a little that they have lie for greater good. Plus I can't just run away after the sight of trouble.I wad not raised that way. So again Don't go jumping off to conclusions when you don't know the entire fact. And I should know.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011):

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Not Mention, The next time I'm in a situation and I don't want to move on another choose to work out. Maybe should've say "Don't Tell me to move on". I forgot there is no players in gay world. If they want to hook up then should say so no need for some ruse. and It's not Like I'm in a rush for a relationship either.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011):

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So no.That's not answer I want to hear. I realize I kinda wanted to have my cake and eat it too,maybe I should let him do the same. What all this talk about settle for someone when it is human nature to wanting have more then one person for love or sex. I supervised That it took a whole month to get response, I figures he wasn't ready for a relationship yet because he was nursing the wounds of the previous.So sorry

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011):

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I can't seem to anyways. I changed my mind about wanting commitment because here I complaining about doing the very same thing.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2011):

He's a player.. Let it go. If you should hook up again, enjoy it but don't expect it to be anything more than a hook up.

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