A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need a guys point of viewi have fallen for one of my guy friends..now this crush has been going on [forever] (we have kissed drunk) but he goes normal/ strange with mehe also smokes bongs most nights, but hes such a lovely guy.. people say im smart, hilarious, friendly and good looking. Now I cant work out what I need to make this guy realise what he is missing. I feel like he isnt worthy of my love- But I only want to be with him. I know i cant change his bad habits though but wish he would change them for me! he takes es some weekends tooany guys advice would help? thanks! x
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male
reader, 1perrito  +, writes (10 March 2009):
 Sorry, I guess I should learn my flags, LOL!
I notice no one else responded to your query. Most people tend to avoid the subject of addiction. Especially, men.
Good luck. Hope you find the right man.
FRM
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits actually an Ireland flag ..lol!! =)
he has been to counselling before but it didnt help. he went back to smoking bongs ..guess he is still young. he may change but I cant afford to wait around for years. thanks!! x
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A
male
reader, 1perrito +, writes (10 March 2009):
Then, I think, you already made up your mind.
It's ok, what matters most is your happiness. Your heart might be broken for now, but, in the long run, most likely you will find someone who is more worthy of you.
Unless you are willing to accept him 'as is', then it cannot work. I would suggest to tell him to go to AA or NA Anonymous. It's hard. I don't know if they have those meetings in Italy, but, if they do, take him to his first meeting.
Good luck and thank you for reading messages.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni think your right
but all i do is go for drinks at weekend. he gets out of his mind every few weeks. Im thinking is that the kind of guy i want to be with? He is perfect in every other way- he said he liked me in the past but doesnt want to ruin our good friendship..although he tries to kiss me when Im drunk. it all doesnt add up but he said "he knows hes not good enough for me"..and his bad past is why he does drugs occasionally. I wish i could be the one to help him..i wish he would realise this that he doesnt need them.il always have a love for him deep down. its such a shame
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A
male
reader, 1perrito +, writes (10 March 2009):
My brother is a pot head, married to a beautiful woman, has a great job, and (now) they have a new beautiful baby boy.
He's my little brother and although I do not know how or why picked up pot, I still love him.
Some people can function through life smoking "the chronic" most of their lives. For me, it is not possible because we have urinalysis monthly at work. Besides, I really do not like it, it smells like burnt oregano and I don't like oregano too much.
I guess what I am telling you is that you might not be able to break his habit. But, if you do like him that much, maybe you can forgive him and just accept the way he is.
But on certain conditions, I believe;
First, he needs to complete his studies.
Second, he needs to get a well paying job (a job the he likes is a big plus, since most pot smokers are dreamers, and if he loves his job he will stay within it and support your union.)
Lastly, make sure you get to meet all of his friends. This is important because that way you get to know how much weed he smokes (and what other drugs he might take).
Being involved with someone who has addiction is risky. Even if he does well with your union, remember, those addictive traits will be passed on to your children, if you ever have any. It's just human nature.
I hope this helps and I thank you for reading this. I have some experience with this and wish to share my experience.
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