A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been seeing a man for almost 3 years, he tells me he loves me but I just don't feel it. I also found dating sites he has been on. I really love him and keep thinking that he loves me too. I just feel like he is hanging on to me until he finds someone. Can a man love a woman and still look. How do I really know if he is sincere or not. I suggested we settle down and he always has an excuse. He has a lot of different issues in his life right now and I keep thinking that is why he stays away but still says he loves me. Please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 Why would you even consider settling down with this man when he has as you said "so many issues?" In my opinion this man is holding you back. You are at the prime of your life just now and could be doing something with your life, finding yourself and who you really are and what you want from life. Be independent, get your own place, do your own thing. Don't let him drag you down with him. You're right, if someone else came along he'd drop you like a ton of bricks. He's only with you because he feels you're better than nothing. You deserve far better than that.
Chacha is right, if he's looking at other dating sites then he's LOOKING for someone else to take your place, to stimulate him a bit more. He's bored in the relationship! If you really want to try and make something of what you have together then you need to sit down with him and set some boundaries. Let him know you know he goes on these sites and you're not happy about it. Ask him to delete his profiles from them and WATCH him do it! If he has any respect for you at all and feels anything for you then he should do it because it hurts you and because he WANTS to be with you. If he doesn't.... then it speaks for itself.
How do you know if he's sincere? If he does it and MEANS it and you don't catch him on them again.
Eve
A
female
reader, lea0289  +, writes (8 March 2007):
 I also once found my boyfriend on a dating site... I got really upset.. and now he has cheated on me.. its tough but you should get out while you can :(
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A
female
reader, chachacha +, writes (8 March 2007):
There's only one reason that someone goes on a dating site - it is to find a new partner.
That's your answer, I'm afraid.
It is common for some people (weak ones) to stay in a relationship until they have found a new person, because they are afraid to be alone. Don't let him use you like that. What are you getting out of this relationship anyway? - you don't feel loved. Dump him.
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