A
female
age
36-40,
*umb00blondiie
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating 10 months now, and he broke it off with his ex approximately 2 years ago. One day, when left alone at his house with his computer, curiousity took the best of me and I ventured on to see what he looks at when I am not around. I came across naked pictures of his ex-girlfriend. I confronted him about them and he said he didn't know he had them there. They were deleted and i thought I didn't have anything to worry about. He assured me that there were no more pictures and he was sorry I came across them. Well 4 months later, I again looked through his computer. I un-hid all of the hidden folders and was angry to find that he had another set of those pictures saved and hidden in an odd folder. When I confronted him about them again, he told me he knew he had them there. When I asked why, his response was "in case I want to revisit them later." I went home and cried for hours/day. I shouldnt have to put up with this - but I am still with him. This isn't right, is it?
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female
reader, btalep  +, writes (5 May 2009):
 I know exactly what you mean. I recently decided to be Inspector Gadget and rumage through my boyfriends things and I found plenty of pictures of his ex (not naked though). Anyways first of all, when you go looking, you find. It is wrong that he is keeping these pictures but basically all men look at porn, because that's what it is. The fact that it's his ex makes it a little worse. You've obviously confronted him and he doesn't seem very open to deleting them. I would confront him again and say it's either the pictures or you, because if he has them he's still holding on to something from the last relationship. I would imagine that those naked pictures aren't going to keep him warm at night, but you should put your foot down.
If he's not willing to completely erase his ex from his computer and his head then it might be best to leave.
A
female
reader, CupidLover  +, writes (5 May 2009):
 I can't tell you what is right and what is wrong,but maybe he isn't over his ex? or maybe since they're naked pictures of his ex its his silly fantasy of her,i know that must hurt deeply and i'm sorry about that.
But u should not speak for a while give urself enough time without speaking,if u find yourself empty and wanting closure,then maybe give him an ultimatum. If he wants you back he needs to change.
Although easier said than done, honestly im sure ur trust level with him has totally hit rock bottom and i know what its like to be in a relationship to hit rock bottom with the trust and try building it up again-its difficult!
Give urself a few days,but please don't keep going back to him everytime he makes a mistake,he'll just think "oh she's naieve,ive gotten away with it plenty of times" and he'll take advantage.
Please put YOUR happiness first!
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